Ladies….tomorrow is the deadline….after a slow start, the competition is fierce….there is a young lady in Atlanta who SHOULD be the winner, she came as close to perfect as anyone is gonna come….but she’s in Atlanta and couldn’t be my Valentine anyway (**shedding a tear right here**) **sigh**….there is someone here in Nashville that is in the lead right now….I’ll reveal her identity this weekend, sometime between parties….

Now back to your regularly scheduled rant!

Every now and again I get on a musical kick where I’ll just listen to/download songs from a particular artist or group….

Right now I’m on an NWA trip….I think it starts with my conversation with O.J. the other night about how I needed to get another copy of Ice Cube’s “Death Certificate”….

See, more than a year ago, before my dad got sick, he was gearing up to get back on the radio….he borrowed about 10 CDs from me that he was going to use to get his music that he used coming in and out of commercial breaks (Dad was a radio talk show host….and the music got the engineer in the other room ready to cue his commercial spots)….and Death Certificate was one of the CDs he borrowed….

Well, unfortunately Dad isn’t able to remember much that happened after my Grandmother’s death in August of 2001….so I hold out any promise of finding that CD….but Death Certificate is one of those CDs that you re-buy when you lose it….

I owe my Dad for getting me hooked on that CD in the first place….I’ll never forget, back when he was on his first stint in Atlanta radio, we’d go to just about every Hawks game….well one day he popped in a tape and said, “I want you to listen to this”….before that moment my Ice Cube experience was limited to a “Straight Outta Compton” maxi single with “A Bitch is a Bitch” and “Express Yourself”….I liked Cube’s music, but I didn’t really know anything about him….

Man….hearing that tape changed my life….every track was great….full of memorable (if raunchy/racist/violent) lines….from “The Wrong Nigga To Fuck Wit” to “No Vaseline” the jams didn’t stop….I even thought about putting on some weight and getting a jheri curl (only for like a quick second)….

It’s a shame Cube fell off….damn….

It’s funny, the things you get used to after years and years and not give them a second thought….

It never occurred to me that my cousin’s name was out of the ordinary until we got a little older and I’d mention her in conversation and people would be like, “Wait a minute, you have a cousin named Radiance??”….

Growing up, it wasn’t a thing….hell, most times we just called her Rai Rai or Rai’ence (that was me and Bryan’s attempt at annoying her….9 times out of 10 we were successful too)….

Now that I’m older, I think it’s a beautiful name that suits her….she is a very pretty girl and has a radiant personality that I think comes in part from having that name….

With all of the hoopla about how names are starting to affect who gets hired for jobs and stuff I sometimes wonder if it’s an issue for her….I don’t believe it has….

My roommate senior year, Ken, has alot of theories….one of the ones I tend to agree with is the profound effect of naming a person….his brother played football at UGA for a while when Champ Bailey was there….anyway Ken had something to say about Champ Bailey that made alot of sense to me….

He said that when a child is growing up it gives them a sense of empowerment with a name like Champ or Boss or King….

I don’t think I’ll be naming any potential children I have Superintendent or General or anything like that…but at the same time, a name like Calvin can be mangled and butchered….

I had a couch in Middle School and High School that knew me fairly well….I even saw him at Morehouse’s homecoming (he’s a fellow grad) and he still calls me Kevin….I’ve been called Kelvin and seen my name misspelled Clavin pretty often….and I thought my name was fairly normal….

As for the meanings of names from foreign languages and such (as opposed to readily apparent meanings, i.e. names like Nia which means purpose in Swahili or Belle which means beautiful in French) my name means Bald….it’s from the Latin Calverium which means skull (our Gross Anatomy teacher called skulls by their latin name 50% of the time)….neither my father, nor my grandfather who were both named Calvin were ever bald for any significant period of time….needless to say I don’t place much value in the meaning of names….

At any rate, I’ve been rambling on pointlessly….I’m sure Rai Rai will be happy to have been the focus of so much internet attention though….

Those that are still coming for V-Day applications (you have a couple more days ladies….don’t be shy….it’s the entry below the entry below this one, Jan 24th….if those directions confused you, you don’t need to fill one out….) feel free to skip the following rant….

So anyway, to my other 4 faithful readers….I was kind of delusional after the Raiders got blown out in the Super Bowl….and now I find myself recalling the last time I felt this badly after a Super Bowl….Super Bowl XXVI, Jan. 1992….

In the weeks leading up to the game, I convinced my mom to let me host a party at my house….this was major for a guy like myself….

Having girls there was out of the question for me at the time (hey, I was 12 and kind of immature!!!)….and I recall how angry I was that my cousin Radiance came with her brother, Bryan….the other invited guests were the former homie Nile, Rashard (my boy in the military) and his brother, Eulus and Travis (the dudes that like clubbing with old folks), Smallwood (the guy who lives in San Antonio now), Gilbert (who I haven’t heard from since high school), and this guy Robert….Robert at that point hadn’t quite become a bully/Calvin-tormenter but the seeds were being planted….his invitation was supposed to be a tactic to avoid that fate (it didn’t work…but that’s a whole different entry)

People started to arrive maybe three hours before kickoff….and we went outside and played a game of tackle football in my front yard (we’ve always had a big yard, no matter where I lived)….the highlights of the football game were Smallwood’s glasses getting stomped on over on the sidelines….and Rashard getting flipped high in the air on a clip by Nile…my neighbor across the street came out of her house with one of her friends and the football game dissolved into some psuedogame being spit by a few of the guys….

Once we got inside the game was about to start….the room quickly divided up into the Buffalo fans (me and ummm….me) and the Washington fans (everyone else)….well as any most football fans know, Buffalo didn’t win that game, as a matter of fact they got blown out….at one point as I was cheering one of the few big plays, the other guys (led on by Nile fittingly) proceeded to throw balled up napkins at me….

Halfway through the second quarter we decided to just chalk it up and play some John Madden Football (the very first version for the SNES….it SUCKS nowadays, but it was REVOLUTIONARY when it came out)….then things started to go crazy….

I got into an argument with one of the other guys….and then I ended up in my room watching In Living Color….yet, somehow, the Super Bowl party was rated a success….

Well Sunday felt like that….I wasn’t alone in pulling for a team this time….but the outcome was the same….I got delusional midway through the third and thought the Raiders could have pulled the game out….right until Derrick Brooks slammed the door shut with his interception for a touchdown….

Okay, I had a T.M.I. (too much information) entry up here…and I broke Blogging 101’s cardinal rule and deleted it….

I guess I’m not as open with ya’ll knowing EVERYTHING….to those that saw it….congrats….you know me better than I wanted you too….(they probably think it wasn’t that big a deal anyway)

Anyway….continue to fill out those applications ladies….

To answer a few questions….YES, I am going to actually go out with someone on Valentines Day….

Will they come from this pool of applicants?….very possible….

What if they don’t live in Nashville?….well that poses a logistical problem….I’ll have to give them an I.O.U. or something….

Cal, are you crazy?….yes….but you already knew that!

Well, first of all, you have to submit to a drug test and psychiatric evaluation….and then just fill out the following simple application….if you’re shy (don’t worry, so am I) you can e-mail your responses to Calvin@killacal.net…one lucky young lady will win dinner at a restuarant of her choice and a movie with the Killa Cal on Valentines Day (I know what you’re thinking, Dinner and a movie??!!….I mean come on now….you got here somehow, so don’t act like you expected more!)

**here is a link to how I USED to feel about Valentine’s Day**

So, some of the questions have definate right or wrong answers, and others don’t….here goes:

1)Height (I’m scared of women who are taller than me and short people are evil….by the way short is officially 5′4″ or shorter….**looks at Jeralyn**)
2)Weight (Just keeping it real, I can deal with “thick”, but it’s all relative)
3)Have you ever keyed a car? (a yes or no answer will suffice, no explanation will help you)
4)Can you name the number 1 draft pick in last year’s NBA draft?
5)What is the biggest lie you’ve ever told? (20 words or less)
6)Can you deal with a man who doesn’t own a car?
7)Have you ever been involved in a physical fight? If yes, how many? When was the last? How started it? Did you win?
8)What is your favorite song?
9)Did you like Waiting to Exhale?
10)What are your feelings about Vivica A. Fox? (20 words or less)
11)What is your favorite movie?
12)Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?
13)What is the worst pick-up line ever used on you?
14)What is the best way you’ve ever been approached?
15)Have you ever cheated? On a boyfriend? On a test?
16)When you PMS are you evil?
17)Is Krystal’s an acceptable place to eat while on a date?
18)When you break up, are you able to behave in a civil manner with your ex, or does he need to file a restraining order?
19)When you go to an amusement park do you ride the roller coasters?
20)What is your favorite animal?
21)What was the last book you read?
22)Would you pose for playboy?
23)Who is your hero?
24)Has your father (or uncle(s), brother(s), or cousin(s) for that matter) ever killed/maimed someone you dated?
25)Do you like Taco Bell?

Good luck!
I’ll make my choice on Jan. 31st….

….and as Ethan Hunt….not Tom Cruise….but Killa Cal….

You see I’m going against everything I stand for (or at least what I wrote very strongly against on clubauc.com in 2001)….

I’m actively seeking a Valentine….

I’ll let that news sink in for those who know me pretty well….don’t all line up at once ladies….there is alot of me to go around (especially these days….I’m getting FAT!)….

Anyway, I’ll give more details at a later date, when I’ve planned things out better….

It’s snowing again….I get like a little kid when I see snow, for real!….

When I woke up Monday morning all the snow from the past weekend was still on the ground….but 3 naps later I looked out of the window and it had ALL melted…turns out the temperature had reached 57 degrees that afternoon….the snow didn’t have a chance….and I was left a broken and miserable young man….

Well now it’s snowing, it’s sticking, and with the low expected to be 9 degrees it’s gonna be here a while….they’ve already closed all the public schools around here….the chances that they’ll also close Meharry would be slim to none….but either way I’m going to play the little kid role and throw poorly formed snowballs at anyone I know while I’m outside tomorrow….

Before I go….two shouts out, one good, one sad….wassup to Tiara (although I doubt she reads this)….she had a conference at the West Basic Sciences building today for OSHA (occupational safety and health administration….correct me if I’m wrong)….she had the heads turning today….

And now my sad shout out/get well soon….to my friend M. Dot Brown who had an accident today….I didn’t find out till late otherwise I’d be at the hospital giving this shout out!….I’m still gonna try and make my way to the hospital tomorrow morning to see what the deal is, snow or not!

Oh….I almost forgot….here are the random pics from the Detroit/Windsor trip….

Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinatti….home of the Bungles….

The Casino Windsor in Canada….the Evil Empire to the North!

I thought they were supposed to be on horses!!?!?!

Tax Free Cologne, Liquor, Jewelry, and Tobacco (but no Cuban Cigars or shot glasses!)

The Blackjack Tables at Greektown were kind to me….I doubled my Money

Ford Field….home of the Detroit Lions….

Halfway through my hour and a half laugh fest the homie Geoff called and he hit the nail on the head….half of the people that went out for American Idol this season had some legit talent and seriously wanted to be on the show….

The other half are the same idiot pool who make up the gene pool for Jerry Springer guests and America’s Funniest Home Videos….apperently America has more Attention Deficeit Disorder patients than the DSM-IV figured….ADD is the only logical explanation for these gratuitous attention seekers acting a damned fool on national TV….

I mean take ole boy down in Miami, Edgar (thanks Shawanna!!…I had forgotten his name THAT fast)….I mean he had to have planned his antics….no one goes into a room with more than one person and sings Enrique Eglasias’s “Escape” with all the passion of a moose in heat like that unless they are seriously doped up or in need of some level of attention that a therapist can’t attend to….

I got on the American Idol bandwagon waaay to late last year….I had been trying to avoid it last year in a fit of anti-pop-culture rage….but i happened to catch Tamyra Gray singing “Feel the Fire” or one of my other Soul favorites and got hooked that second…I picked up the phone and hit redial several times in hopes that this beautiful black woman would be on the next episode….

I missed all of the disses from Simon….and all of the bad singing and bad auditions….so I was super hyped about seeing it this year….I wasn’t disappointed….

But I’m glad that there is a Simon to give these idiots and misguided people a dose of reality that apparently their “friends” and family aren’t willing to give them….from what I saw tonight Randy seems to be just as venomous as Simon at times….he was kinda cold with his disses at times….Simon just has that cold blooded British thing going on for him….

This should be interesting though….the people tonight have shown me that the general American public has a very high threshhold for humiliation….and hey, that works for me!….Entertain me at any cost, even your dignity!

**ADDED INFO**
I try not to do this very often…but I needed to say two important things…..firstly…I neglected to mention the very funny gay dude Nate, who gave THE ENTIRE panel the BUSINESS….all the while dressed in JEANS WITH A SPLIT up the middle….I haven’t seen someone dressed like that since Juan (who is becoming even more of a local celeb) at Morehouse….that was probably the funniest moment of the show….

Also, O.J. has finally done it!….he has published a reworked edition of the imfamous, side-splitting, super-gutty, BUMBLEBEE STORY…complete with Gut-o-Vision (c in a circle)….if you’ve never seen it, you owe it to yourself to go NOW and read it….if you are one of the lucky ones to see the old version check out the new and improved version….if you don’t laugh hit me on AIM and we’ll work out some sort of compensation….

Everyday I go through my same obsessive compulsive routine….I click and read every single one of the links on the right side of this page, fiending for something new to read….just cuz I’m not leaving comments all of the time doesn’t mean I’m not reading….sometimes I don’t feel like my words will help/contribute anything so I keep quiet….

Anyway I miss the days of Kelly’s daily food for thought….I miss Raj’s abilty to make words become more than prose, yet not quite poetry….I miss Elisabeth’s dating stories and AJ updates….the landscape of the internet has changed so much….

Anyway….one of the scenarios that I liked for the Super Bowl has come true….the very first “Argh Matey!” Pirate Bowl pitting the Tampa Bay Buccaneers versus the Oakland Raiders….I need to find a party supply store so I can buy a pirate hat and eye patch!….the only thing that sucks is that I’m in Tennessee so I’m sure to get a hostile reaction from disgruntled Titans fans….

Last night after the game I went downtown wearing my Black Jerry Rice jersey….I expected to catch some flack….but I didn’t….I was able to drink half a pitcher of Foster’s in peace….

We went to a little bar that had about a dozen pool tables….and I made a vow to never play pool again….to me it’s more frustrating than golf, at least when you get the white ball in the hole it’s a good thing….I don’t see how people can gamble on pool….

Anyway it’s MLK, Jr. day again and more than likely I won’t do anything productive….I feel terrible, like I should be out marching or something….I’m just so damned lazy….what kind of Morehouse Man am I?

P.S. the Detroit/Canada pics haven’t been uploaded yet….but they are coming soon….

Well I’m back in Nashville….

Detroit was interesting and fun….so much stuff happened….I’ll put up some pictures tomorrow….but for now a blow by blow will have to do….

We left Nashville at about 10 AM and immediately got stuck in a traffic jam on I-65 North….Geoff almost decided to turn around….it took us an hour and a half to get to Rivergate Mall, which you can usually reach in about 20-30 minutes….

Somehow when we got to Kentucky (40 minutes from Nashville) the roads cleared up remarkably….

Anyway most of the trip was familiar to me….we had taken basically the same route to get to Cedar Point….I was awake for more of this journey though….

I saw the skateboarder’s park where 40 some odd folks had gathered at 3 AM in Louisville this summer….this time there were only about 5 people there….

I saw Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinatti where the Bungles lose their games and the new baseball stadium as well….Downtown Cincinatti is on the Ohio River and that is really cool to me….

We stopped at a Pizza Hut Buffet, where I stuffed myself….and then later on we stopped at a truck stop that had a Taco Bell so I got some of that as well….

So we got to Detroit around 9:30 or so….Geoff wanted to watch the Lakers play the Rockets but the spot he planned on hitting apparently got closed down, so we hit his boy D’s crib….

I changed clothes and then we headed to Hockeytown to watch the game and get a few drinks….I had a few glasses of Johnny Walker Red….the game was cool….I bought a shot glass….ate some wings that were waaaaaay too hot….

Then Geoff’s friend E. Jones showed up….she took us under this tunnel that connected Detroit to Windsor, Canada….the Canadian customs guy was being an ass and almost didn’t let us over….I didn’t know it was such a big deal….

Anyway, we came up with the bright idea of trying to get some Cuban Cigars (which are legal over there….but illegal here in America)….well all sorts of places had signs advertising their sale of Cubans, but they were all sold out….

I need to mention at this point that it was “none” degrees outside and my bones were frozen solid….we went into this weird Canadian Club as well as a saloon and were met with weird accents and apologies as none of the places had Cubans….

I was somewhat disappointed but hey, I was in Canada!!!

After our unsuccessful search for Cubans we went to the Duty Free Store, which has to be the invention with the greatest potential, yet most let down….it’s a tax free, discount store….and if you want Liquor (usually I do, but not this time), Watches (they didn’t have any Tag Heure watches), or Cologne (I came up on some Clinique Happy for Men) you are in luck….but if you are searching for other things like Sean John Jeans, Argyle socks, cheap porno movies, or cuban cigars you are out of luck!!

So we headed back through the leaky (and scary) tunnel….turns out the tunnel is under the Detroit River….next time I’m taking the Ambassador Bridge….we got back Stateside where we declared citizenship and stated what we did over there….we told a white lie and said we didn’t weren’t bringing anything back….it was a victimless crime, I assure you!

Next we headed to the Greektown Casino….after scoping the tables for awhile I settled in at a $15 minimum table….it was a pretty good table….everyone was making money and had good attitudes, even though I was making some bad decisions that cost a few people some money….I was up $300 at one point….but having learned my lesson from my other casino trip, when I doubled my money I left the table….

We called it a night and today we went to Geoff’s folks crib for a while before hitting the road again….the trip back was pretty smooth although we did run into a mini blizzard in Kentucky….we made good time getting back in 8 hours….

I’m tired, but glad to be back where it’s warm 15 degrees….I gotta get some rest for the big games tomorrow….

The Weak Ass Titans are going down!!…and I’m going to wear Raider’s Jerseys all week!!