A funny thing happened on the way to retirement. I tried, I really did, but between people writing/calling/telling me face to face, not to quit and force of habit I ended up coming back….

I see why it’s so hard for Michael Jordan and Too Short and Larry Holmes….even though I still don’t feel like I’m where I want to be, I don’t like NOT writing either…..

I found myself ALMOST making an entry several times over the weekend….

I felt a strong compulsion to tell ya’ll (I don’t give a damn if it’s really y’all….I’mma keep spelling that way!) all about my adventures with Jello shots (I had 12 according to Drea who tried her BEST to keep me from doing that many)…..

I wanted so badly to tell you all about how I’m addicted to pasta and had Spaghetti Factory AND Olive Garden over the weekend, even though I’m getting fatter by the minute (my blood type is going to be Ragu by 2004 if I keep up this pace)….

I wanted to tell you all about me getting slayed several times on Saturday after I had so dangerously ingested said Jello shots and 7 cups of keg variety liquid courage (hopefully it was Scud Light I’m really not certain)….

And who else was I going to tell about my sorrow/heartache when my latest internet addiction, the kthxbi forums, went down….luckily there are temporary forums at an undisclosed location that are providing me with my fix….I’m keeping the old link in hopes that things will be back to normal soon….

And how else was I going to tell you to check out Nexy’s page….she’s so cool!….she has alot of content….she has a world map that I linked to and mistakenly made the icon for me a little blond Dutch girl instead of the stereotypical African dude….

Retirement wasn’t such a good idea….I guess I’m not a man of my word…..

…I’m done….

At least for awhile….

I might let my sister post here or something….hey….whoever wants to….get at me…I’ll give you a username and a password and you can go for it….

But I’m done….it’s not fun anymore….

Thanks for reading….

I’ll be back when I find what I’m looking for….whatever that is…

*sigh*
People I just don’t feel it anymore….

I used to be brimming with things to say here….and now….blah….

I mean I still have stories for days….my life, woooooo, my life….but I don’t know….it’s like it doesn’t feel the same anymore….

Maybe this is just a temporary feeling that just happens to keep sneaking up on me lately….maybe it’s leading to something bigger….maybe I just need to learn how to change the scenery around here…..but I need something….

I’m “stagnated”….

Man….I’d tip the DJ if just ONE would play that song at a party I go to….

Last night was the Single Mingle put together by the most popular guy in Nashville, Fry, and Lawbreaker, the DJ….it was pretty cool….I had plenty to drink….I went through a bottle and a half of Hypnotiq and a bottle of Grey Goose with some help from the homies….

My boy Eulus is visiting this week, so I’m sure the party won’t stop for a while….

My NCAA Bracket is shot to hell right now….ND taking out Illinois messed me up until at least the elite 8….there goes my shot at winning my group over at espn.com….

Oh well….back to tourney watching…..

As if I needed any motivation to go on ahead and knock these classes out, I got a huge does yesterday….

They had a ceremony for the seniors yesterday in honor of Match Day….for the unfamiliar, here is how it breaks down….you spend your 4-5 years in med school basically so that you can take 2 big tests (USMLE Steps 1 and 2) and qualify for a residency where you actually start getting paid (albiet for minimum wage and 80-hour work weeks)….Match Day is when you find out which one of your three choices of residency programs you got….

At Meharry they have the seniors in a seminar room and they have all of their envelopes in a big box….they pick an envelope out of the box at random and the person comes up, drops some money into a bowl (the last person called gets the bowl and ALL the money in it), and opens their envelope announcing their Match to the audience….

To see the reactions of those who got their first choices and actually get to start their dreams very soon was such a great feeling…the girl who ended up “winning” the bowl full of money ended up giving it to the class president for the party later that night….

The party was pretty great….I got to harrass some of my favorite ladies….and Heather (H to the Izzo) actually ended up going out and kicking it!….I couldn’t believe my eyes!….

They had an open bar, but I had been drinking for awhile before the party….so basically I kept my buzz going….

Anyway we stayed till we got kicked out of the place at around 2 or so….that’s always a good thing….and I didn’t even get harrassed/molested (can’t say the same for OTHER folks I roll with) although the potential was there….

I’m sitting here in my apartment listening to Tribe’s disappointing yet still cool Love Momement CD and I’m transported to another time and place….

It’s Spring of 1999….

I’m in my room (233 Fair Street)….new Morehouse cats would know it as Perdue Hall….my roommate was my childhood chum Eulus….earlier that year after coming back from the Holyfield our room flooded because some idiot had broken the shower head in the bathroom next door….

The night before, Master Chief (our resident director) had held a dorm meeting telling us that we weren’t allowed to gather and watch WWF Monday Night Raw on the Big Screen TV in the lobby of the dorm….and also that due to people not working the help desk we wouldn’t have visitation for a week….

It was too nice a day to spend inside a classroom, so I decided to head over to the Strip….ahhhh the strip….3 beautiful women passing by every second….from 11 AM till about 2 PM the strip was the place to see and be seen….except on Fridays….

Friday was Market Fashion Friday and in 1999 it was at it’s best (2001 was a close second…but everything was good in 2001)….for about 5 hours the most beautiful of “the Beautiful People” were hanging out and mingling….

But this was a Tuesday….and new CD’s were coming out….so that meant one thing….a walk through the strip, past Club Woody (the Robert Woodruff “Library”) and Steagall’s to go to Audrey’s Reading Room….

The funny thing about Audrey’s was that I NEVER saw anyone reading there….or even buying any of the books….it was all about the CD’s….Audrey always had the new joints….and she always had them for a low price….I don’t know why it closed to this day….or Gutbusters….

Earlier that year my boy Duane got into a fight with the manager there….allegedly he threw a squeeze bottle of ketchup at Duane, so Duane politely (or not so politely) invited him to come from behind his glass shield….well Duane got banned, so he missed out on the best Pizza Steaks (cheesesteaks with pizza sauce) and Cheese Fries this side of Philadelphia….I guess since he was from Philly he didn’t mind so much….a banishment like that would have been too much for me….the loss of Club 559 was enough of a blow to deal with….

Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night was a miniature Freaknik thanks to the Fee Fee Nee…..too bad a fire kept me from ever legally seeing the inside….chilling outside with the locals was enough for me anyway….

All of this reminicing caused by a mediocre CD….ahhhhh….

When 9-11 went down I have to admit, I wasn’t very moved….

I mean I knew a few people in New York and I was fearful for their safety, but I was still kinda numb from my Grandmother’s death in late August of that year….and I would see more sickness and death in the upcoming year….I guess I spent that whole year in a state of “shell shock”….

Well now I’m paralyzed with fear….Che is headed on a cross country trip to California….I know it’s irrational….but with our Head of State making ultimatums and the homeland security level being raised to orange I can’t help it….

I’ve been known to be ultra paranoid so maybe it’s nothing….let’s hope so….

Well I should be in class right now….even if it is Monday (my unofficial day off from Meharry)….

But I mean why should I go? The world is about to end….

No seriously….it’s about to be all over….goodnight sweetheart….

Between the new mystery illness and Bush’s personal war, things look like they are RAGING to a climax….so why should I concern myself with trivial things like class?

I’m learning how to deal with all sorts of medical conditions, but I won’t be able to do JACK with this new disease….so what’s the point?

In other news….I’ve been dreaming of girls from my past….it started with my dream about Christal, my number 1 female friend in high school….then I dreamed about her partner in crime, Elenda….and then last night I dreamed I smoked a blunt with my longstanding middle/high school crush Staci….

Maybe I’ll give up on med school and pursue THOSE dreams….I seemed to be more satisfied with those….

Now if I could only find a gas mask and an epinephrine shot….

Man….I started out writing “for myself”….but somewhere along the line a negro started to enjoy “having readers”….I’m going through withdrawal now….

Anyway….I’m in Atlanta now….

Jeralyn called yesterday and was like, “I’m going to Atlanta”…..and I was like, “I’m rollin wit you”….so here I am….

I got here and Che was in the living room with her boyfriend Marcus….which was funny because from last Friday till Thursday Che was in MY living room….

We had fun….did the usual things….went to Joe’s Crab Shack (I love that place)….saw Chicago (second time for me) and Old School (HELLA FUNNY)….she went to the mall with some of my classmates and witnessed me drinking beer in the parking lot….went shopping with Drea and Jamizzle (Jamila’s new nickname)….all in all we had fun….

So yeah….I’m here in the ATL….and I’m gonna camp out here and tie up my mom’s phone line while complaining about her Pentium 2 Powered Dell….I’m addicted to the forums at kthxbi now so I’m sure I’ll add another 50 posts this weekend….and I’m gonna watch some college basketball….

And I’m gonna read up on webdesign….cuz I need something new here….like Dad said way back when….I’m “lacking flava”….maybe something involving Outkast and Eli Cash from the Royal Tenenbaums….hmmmm…..

In the last few days I’ve communicated (via e-mail, phone, instant messenger, and other ways) with some folks I hadn’t seen/talked to in awhile….

It’s been cool….Lately I’ve been more nostalgic than usual….

I wish my memory for school work was like my memory for the experiences that I’ve had in my life….I swear I remember things as small as what was playing in the background, when I was doing rather insignificant things….

Anyway, the e-mail from my boy Brandon is the one that really has me thinking….

See, he’s the guy that’s probably the closest to me and Nile….he’s the guy that me and Nile were visiting in San Antonio….in his e-mail he told me he found out that we had “fallen out” and that we’ve been friends too long for that and needed to squash our beef or whatever….

Up until his e-mail I really felt that there was no way in hell I’d ever reconcile with Nile….I hadn’t even given it much thought at all as a matter of fact….when people would ask I’d be like “Fuck that nigga” and not given it a second thought….but now I wonder….

See the thing about it is, that nigga has NO respect for me at all….my idea of friendship is different than that niggas….he’s the kind of person that doesn’t know when to stop with a joke….he’ll find out who is the easiest target in the room (usually me) and go relelntlessly until you either want to fight him or leave….

People have said, “Just beat his ass”….it’s not that simple….to me fighting doesn’t solve much of anything….it tends to escalate things until someone dies….and I’m a grown ass man….grown ass men go to jail when they fight….I’m not messing up everything I worked so hard for over something so trivial….

To me it was easier to just cut that nigga off….but I didn’t think about the strain it would cause on my relationships with people who we both know….then again, they’ve seen how it goes down….

I don’t know….maybe people felt like I deserved to be treated that way since I put up with it so long….or maybe they are expecting me to have some type of movielike epiphany where I just go crazy and whip his ass and then everything becomes all good….

As much as I like movies, I also know that shit don’t go down like it does in the movies….there isn’t a script….and when one person is as resentful/passive-aggressive as I am and the other person is as relentless/ruthless as he is….it ends in one of two ways….

So I’ve given it a second thought….but me and him will never be cool again….I don’t need the negativity….