…right now is Snow Crab Legs. All 3 of you ladies interested in the Killa Cal write that down and file it away. I had snow crab two days in a row, and I’m strongly considering boiling some today for lunch. Saturday night I went to Red Lobster. Their snow crabs left something to be desired. Yesterday TaTa and Julian (parents of young P.J., my godson) cooked an abundance of seafood. There was broiled talapia, fried shrimp, and snow crab (or course). Julian also made a great salad with spinich, feta cheese, almonds, and a homemade dressing. I really love eating.

Yesterday was an interesting sports day. At roughly the same time, Georgia Tech was getting all they could handle from Kansas, there was a 2 lap shoot-out in the Nascar race. Yes, I watch the Nextel Cup races every weekend now. No, I haven’t been in Nashville too long. I challenge any naysayer to watch a race for any extended period with even the slightest interest and you will enjoy it. Needless to say I watched the shoot-out and missed the pivotal three pointer in overtime. It’s okay, that’s what Sportscenter is for.

I also came to an important conclusion about one of my favorite TV shows in history. The best episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air HAS to be part two of the hour long season premiere episode when Carlton and Will go to college and try to move out. You know the one! It’s the first appearance of Tyra. The episode where Jazz and his party bus gets Will and Carlton evicted. The very same episode where Trevor dies bungee jumping. Geoffrey is in top sarcastic form. I only wished I had started recording sooner.

I guess at this point I should clear up confusion, as I know some of my readers (no names) are confused. On THURSDAY (or late Wednesday night depending on your time zone) the entries are written by HUSTLEMANL77, also known as Leon. He is a regular over at the forums at kthxbi.com and he had many funny stories over there so I invited him to write regularly here. If there is ever any doubt as to who the author of an entry is, read the very bottomline where you can comment (I know many people usually ignore that section) it will say Posted by: Whoever posted it. I hope that clears up the confusion. I mention this because in the near future (tomorrow) I will have yet another guest writer.

Okay so I didn’t review last week’s episode of the Sopranos so I guess I’ll do a two for one.

Season 5, Episode 3 - Where’s Johnny

I really don’t know why I didn’t review it at the time, but now I’m glad I waited. It’s become my favorite episode so far. Lorraine Calluzzo is confronted for not “kicking up to” Johnny Sack, instead giving a cut to Little Carmine. Only a very thick telephone book saves her from a bullet to the heart. Even after her offer of fellatio all around.

Uncle Junior is being insufferable. He keeps driving home the point that “Anthony never had the makings of a varsity athelete”, much to Tony’s chagrin. Eventually it leads to a blow up at the dinner table where Tony storms out and disowns Uncle Junior. It turns out that Uncle Junior actually suffered a series of mini-strokes which sent him out into the city looking for his late brother (and father of Tony) Johnny. At the end of the episode Tony comes around after realizing that Uncle Junior wasn’t exactly in control of himself when he “undermined” him. Of course, Uncle Junior can’t tell Tony he loves him at the end of the episode, leaving the audience wondering what is up ahead for the two.

Then you have the continuing issues with Feech La Manna and Paulie Walnuts. Feech tries to reestablish himself as a big time player in the New Jersey scene, this time by strong-arming a local landscaper so that his nephew can move in on that turf. Of course it just so happens that the landscaper who has his arm broken over a curb is the same one who does a friend of Paulie’s mother’s yard. This leads to a confrontation between Paulie and Feech that leads to Paulie displaying his psychopathic tendencies on Feech’s nephew, sending him flying out of a tree. With Tony’s intervention they eventually come to a compromise, but Feech once again shows that he is a problem that is not going away easily.

It’s worth mentioning that at one point Uncle Junior confused an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm for his trail, thinking that Larry David was himself and Jeff Garlin was Bobby.

Chalk it up as another A+ episode.

Season 5, Episode 4 - All Happy Families

For all those waiting on some REAL wackings (if the waiter was not enough), this episode provided a pretty quick payoff. Lorraine Calluzzo gets a surprise while coming out of the shower. Her towel get’s snatched and she runs into the living room to see her bodyguard with a bullet in his head. She trips and falls and gets shot herself, dying naked on her floor. Little Carmine is advised to restrain himself, but things are coming to a head between he and Johnny Sack, it’s only a matter of time.

Meanwhile Feech seems to be enjoying himself as the overseer of the high rolling poker games. Lawrence Taylor and David Lee Roth are some of the guest stars that get to enjoy his stories. A jewish doctor mentions his daughter’s upcoming wedding during one of the games, and not-so-coincidentally the valets at the wedding get held up as the guests cars get rolled onto car carriers. The doctor happens to be a friend of Tony’s however and he begs him for help specifically for an SL-55 which “can’t be replaced”.

Tony puts two and two together and realizes that it’s Feech once again undermining him. He’s left with a tough decision to make as comments Carmela made to him regarding his “friends” seem to be weighing pretty heavily on him. Realizing that Feech is “popular” and also taking into account his past relationship with him as a kid, Tony arranges for Feech to get an unfortunate visit from the parole board while he happens to be storing some stolen flat screen TVs. He takes the long bus ride upstate, which probably works out best for everyone involved (except Feech of course).

Meanwhile, Anthony, Jr.’s grades are slipping. So is his relationship with Carmela. He ends up having to move in with Tony after disobeying his other and doing typical white teenage boy things (pranks with felt tip pens and super glue, homemade bongs, taking advantage of passed out drunks) with his friends in New York City and coming home with shaved eyebrows. Carmela feels that she has to compete with Tony for AJ’s love, and she can’t win with him “spoiling” him (with a brand new fully loaded XTerra for example). The episode ends with a flashback Carmela has about Anthony’s childhood, showing that she’s lost control of him, followed by her entering a VERY empty house.

All in all a solid episode, with some loose ends being tied and other loose ends being made. Not quite the tour de force that last week’s episode, but a B+ is as low as I can feel right giving it.

Tomorrow the homie SunnyD has something to say. I will be back Wednesday (maybe).

Now I’m not trying to say that me and my associates drink too much. I’m not saying that at all.

But I will say this…we buy alot of beer from Midtown Package Store. We buy so much beer that all of the cashiers know us on a pretty much first name basis. We buy ALOT of beer.

I bring all of this up as background so you can truly appreciate the following. Me and my associates went to Los Palmas on Thursday afternoon for some margaritas then went to Midtown to get some beer for the weekly showing of Making the Band 2. One of my associates wrote a check because they have a ten dollar minimum on check card purchases. Said associate purchased a six pack of Red Stripe beer.

Yesterday me and the same associates went to get a case of Red Stripe. While in the store, check writing buddy was having trouble locating the Red Stripes. They then asked our cashier buddy, “Hey why don’t you all carry Red Stripe anymore….” This led to puzzlement on the faces of myself, our other associate, and the cashier. The cashier responded, “You bought some Red Stripe yesterday.” Check-writing buddy stated, “That wasn’t here. That was last week or something.” Of course being the man of astute timing that I am, I took the oppurtunity to use my BEST Rick James voice and say, “That was weeks ago muthafucka!!!” The cashier laughed and said, “You even wrote a check.”

This is a true story ya’ll….in ten years I’ll probably be on some Dave Chappelle Jr’s show as a writer/skit-actor. Alcohol is a helluva drink!

Days like today I miss being in the AUC. It’s bright and sunny. I can smell fresh cut grass. It’s going to be AT LEAST 75 degrees. Today is the kind of day where I would go to Spelman around 12:30 or so and post up by the bookstore. I’d venture into Lower Manley, looking for certain girls, avoiding others, and secretly admiring even more.

Days like today I would try to make my way up the street if I had some money in my pocket/bank account and eat at Gutbusters. I’d get a Pizza Steak with cheese fries and a large drink. Then I’d go over to CAU for a second and see what the strip was talking about. Then I’d go back over to Spelman and harrass more people’s daughters.

Days like today are made for picnics on the yard with somebody grilling hot dogs and chicken wings. Days like today are made for drinking beer out of a cooler and watching people go by. Days like today are made to be outdoors in some manner.

It’s spring for real ya’ll!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch….the group I worked with on the poster presentation came in 1st place!!! (…and we did it with integrity!) Shouts out to Jamila (aka the Mizzle), Melantha, Cyruss, and Nje.

Today I also had a Max-like experience at the barbershop. One of our local friends who has altered his mind irrevocably with drugs came by and started speaking jibberish to us. This young man known as “One Bucket” came by and asked to wash cars for the various customers and even told one dude he looked like Marvin Gaye. On occassion One Bucket will get your car RIGHT (Joe said that if you catch him when he gets that FRESH water early in the morning), but more often then not he will dry your car with the same towel that he did the tires with. Take my word, it was very funny.

Anyway, I’m going to make outdoor moves now.

Happy Thursday folks. I noticed a pattern in my entries on this board…I always end up talking about women. So this week, I’ll talk about something totally unrelated. I’ll just say this last thing: Despite the shit I talk, I really love women and respect them. Even when you all do get on that dumb shit.

I’ll tell the story of the one and only time I played basketball with Allen Iverson.

It was summer ‘98 if I remember correctly. All I know was, I was still attending Hampton, and on occasion A.I. would ride across campus in his Bentley making new friends over near the female dorms. So one particulary nice day, he decided to come out to the courts and shoot around with some of us who were already out there playing. So he comes out there and was like “Can I get a run?” So one of those guys on my team said “Hell yeah you can get a run! Ay Larry!, Getouttahere! A.I. got your spot!”

So my man E was on the other team…and he happened to steal the ball from Allen Iverson and take it downcourt for a layup. I guess that made him feel confident, cause he said some shit to the effect of “Yeah! I don’t give a shit if he is an All Star. He can get it too!”

After that, I’m dribbling upcourt, and Iverson was like “Give me the fuckin’ ball.” I did, and he heads downcourt right past two defenders. E is standing in the paint in a defensive stance, probably thinking he’s going to make another big play.

All I know is Iverson jumped, and E jumped. Once the two were both in the air, Iverson just kept rising and rising, while E kinda rose, then the laws of gravity caught up with his ass. When A.I. finally did throw it down, E was horizontal in the air about a foot below him…LOL. He dunked on E so hard, it was borderline violent. It was the basketball version of an Ike Turner open-handed slap in the mouth. The shit was so dramatic, that it actually seemed like it happened in slow motion…LOL.

To this day, I still joke him about it whenever we talk basketball.

I thought without the calendar on the side ya’ll wouldn’t notice that I hadn’t written anything in a few days.

I can’t really say I have been SUPER, SUPER busy. I have had a bunch of things to do, but I’ve had time to write an entry. I can’t say I haven’t had anything to write about, because I have. At the very least I could have done a review of the last episode of The Sopranos. I guess what it boils down to is that I just haven’t felt like writing here. Sometimes it be’s that way folks, what can I say?

Anyway, I’ve gotten in the “way back machine” and gone back to 1993. I’ve been playing Final Fantasy 3 (or Final Fantasy 6 if you are from Japan) a lot lately. It’s probably my favorite video game ever. It’s very addictive if Role Playing Games are your bag. And of course there is hobowars. I’ve been playing that too.

Another activity that has taken some of my time is the geriatric poster presentation. I lucked up and got to work with a really good group. We finished our poster at a pretty decent hour last night and we had to have it on display this morning. We will also present it tomorrow. There is a cash prize given to the best poster and as such it has brought out the shiestyness and shadyness that has always lurked in our class. Turns out that after we finished our poster one of our classmates came by to “admire” our work. She admired it so much that her group scrapped their original poster and decided that to use the EXACT powerpoint background for their presentation. A word comes to mind as lacking, that word is integrity. It’s all good though.

There are other things as well, but I’m not going to write about them at this point, at least not right now. Maybe tomorrow eh?

This week was rough! I looked back at the entries I made, and they are the worst I’ve ever made here. I had too much going on. Between my Objective Clinical Skills Exam (OSCE) and this busywork genetics paper and the Match party, I haven’t had a chance to breath. It’s reflected here, for sure.

So what have I been up to? Well Thursday was the biggest day as far as events, so I’ll start there. I went to class, ONLY because I thought we had a quiz in Pharmacology. We didn’t. However I met my boy Dave’s mom, Vicky. She actually reads this rinky-dink blogger on occassion! She was really nice and cool. I see where Dave gets it from now. After talking with her for awhile we all headed to the Match Day ceremony for the seniors.

For those who are unfamiliar, Match Day is where medical school seniors all over the country find out where they will be doing their residency program (i.e. their first job!). It’s probably the biggest, most exciting, most relieving day in a med student’s life. I could only stay for the first half or so because I had to go take my OSCE.

The only thing I can say about my OSCE is that I got it over with. From what I’ve been hearing, I did about as well as anyone else, but I’m not sure that translate into a good performance.

I came home, ate the last of the food Jamila gave me (from the dinner Sunday) and proceded to finish off a bottle of whiskey. Later on Drea and I went and got some Grey Goose and a bottle of Dewars. I didn’t even make it to the Match Party before I had already “given back”. I still drank after that though.

The party itself was downtown at the Castle. It was packed!!! There were more people this year than last year! Needless to say I don’t remember many of the details, hell I don’t remember half the people I saw/bumped into. I do remember tapping this girl on her back thinking she was someone else. Then I saw the “someone else” and she sorta slayed me. I had another girl tell me, “I don’t fuck with you” when I spoke to her. I made a mental note of it, and I’m sure I’ll be writing about THAT later on this week after I give her a piece of my mind. Anyway, when all was said and done I got home around 3:30 and I passed out on my bed.

I had yesterday off for the most part, besides a couple of small tasks. I went spent most of the day napping/watching tourney games. My bracket is shot to shit this year, and my only hope is that the elite eight and final four goes EXACTLY as I predicted it. I enjoyed some GREAT food from Carrabba’s last night. Which brings me to today.

I have to do a pediatrics module this afternoon, which really pisses me off because, until Ericka reminded me, I thought I was going to be able to sleep all day! My life would be great if it weren’t for school!

I had two different school related nightmares last night. The first was more social. I can’t really go into detail about it. In the second I cussed out the entire Pharm department and told them that they had no people skills. I also got my apartment raided by the police in the other one (they eventually told me it was a joke and then went across the hall for their real raid and came out with some baby monkeys??!?!). I have some weird dreams, I think it’s the alcohol.

Anyway, I hope the 4 people that read this over the weekend enjoy it!

Hello everyone…It’s me, Hustleman checking in with my weekly guest-entry. Today I’m writing about woman troubles…the kind of woman troubles that made Lenny Williams cry all over the record the way he did.

I can’t see ‘em coming down my eyes, so I gotta make the post cry.

I miss being in love sometimes…Don’t get me wrong, new and assorted tang is FAN-TASTIC. I miss the feeling of having someone there who has my back through thick and thin, though. Before I get to sounding like P-Diddy and Loon making this post into “I Need A Girl, Part XVIII” with Ralph Tresvant singing the hook, let me give you some insight into how I fell into Gigolo-dom.

I was a poor black child born in rural Virginia to a schoolteacher mother and a salesman/reformed pimp/pool hustler/Kool cigarette smoking father. They taught me a lot of things…most good. Now, skip to 2002. I fellin love, fellout of love in 2003…but once things ended, me ex still wanted to give me stuff($$$, clothes, tang, etc…). I felt guilty for after awhile. I don’t anymore, because it was her decision to break up, and she knows what’s up. Only thing is, I’ve kinda aquired a few more friends like that who do “unsolicited good deeds” for me, although none on the level of my ex.

The problem lies in when they try to use the material shit to control me like a puppet. Then get mad when I tell them to lick my left ball after refusing to take whatever ignorant, degrading shit they try to throw on me…Shit like “Leon, I think you should wear the shirt I bought you when you take me to see your family this weekend”

To which I’d most likely respond “Thafuk you mean, ‘meet my family’? You gotta earn that shit. I just met you last week.”

Man, I’m going to need to hook up with the right lady soon, or this path I’m on might have me legally changing my full name to “El Guapo”, getting a Snoop Dogg perm, and moving to the French Riviera with one of the Olsen twins once they turn 21.

Then again, things could be worse, I guess.

This is where I’m supposed to write about the NCAA Tournament I guess. I’ve already filled out two brackets for two different groups. One is a pool here at school, the other is just for fun with some of my peoples from Morehouse.

My history with bracket making is SHAKY. Last year I picked the winner and most of the final four, but beyond that it SUCKED. The year before that I picked the winner but didn’t get any of the rest of the final four. This year I’m in it to win it!!!!!11!!1!!!!11!!

So am I going to give any tips? NO! I’m not qualified. I’d say pick against at least 5 seed in the first round but that is becoming clichéd. Actually, I do have a tip, don’t necessarily jump on the media “darling” pick. Just because Digger Phelps said Texas is going to go all the way doesn’t negate the fact that they sucked in conference play this year. Take the advice of “pundits” with a grain of salt.

Shouts out to all of the FAMU alumni! Hold it down in the play-in game!!

*sigh*

What a weekend!

The keg was officially purchased on Friday at around 11 AM. It officially floated like so many balloons in It at around 10:30 PM Saturday.

I want to thank the principle investors: Eman, Melantha, Tiffany, Geoff, and myself. I also want to thank Theo, Ebon, Joel, Melanie, Janear (sp?), Derrick, Ericka, Dr. Ken, Joe, Hamidi, and everyone else who helped put the keg to rest. Thanks for the Ice, the pizza, and the chicken.

The tub that the keg and ice was in had a leak in it. So I spent most of the first night trying to maintain control of the mess it was making. Saturday I was able to let go and get drunk. I showed up at Ann’s baby shower a little intoxicated. I hope I didn’t offend anyone although I’m sure I did.

Sunday was a recovery day. I watched the GREAT ACC Championship game between Duke and Maryland. I was pleased with the outcome. I also heard Jamila give a harmonica concert. I was speechless, as was everyone else. Her mother was in town this weekend and she and Jamila cooked a meal that was comparable to Thankgiving dinner, it was THAT good. Matter of fact I’m going to eat somemore of it today!

Oh, and I watched two hours of HBO programming.

The Sopranos - Season 5, episode 2 - The Rat Pack

This episode was pretty tense. It started with Tony meeting up with Jack Massarone at a diner to discuss some contracting business. He gives Tony a picture of Sammy, Frank, and Deano (I’d like to find the original myself). Tony’s cousin Tony Blundetto (the long awaited debut of Steve Buscemi) is released from jail. He spends most of the first half-hour dressed in a Don Johnson-esque off-white suit, mid 80’s NBC style (a 95 on Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Rating Scale™). Unlike Feech La Manna (Robert Loggia) who has “hit the ground running” Tony B. seems to want to go straight, he aspires to become a “licensed massage therapist”. We’ll see how that goes. Adrianna gets a chance to deal with pros and the cons of being an FBI informant. Her wine-driven guilt during a movie session with the wives almost causes an ill-timed confession, but later on she gets back at her “best friend” Tina Francesco by implicating her and her father on embezzelment after she has had enough of her flirtation with Christopher (which reminds me, I’ll be writing about the shiestyness of females later on). She better be careful though if she doesn’t want to end up like Massarone, who by the end of the episode was found in the trunk of a car. The best moments in the show to me were the ones showing the inner workings of the FBI. It’s only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan folks.

Another A if only for Tony B’s comparison of Paulie Walnuts to Grandpa Munster.

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 4 Hour Long Finale (episode 10) - Opening Night

The big question here was, will Larry go through with The Producers, and if he does will it be a disaster? Of course getting to that moment was assured to be fun as well. The episode started off pretty great with Jeff once again putting Larry in a predicament by telling OCD sufferer Cady Huffman that Larry also was an Obsessive Compulsive. Strangly this endears her to Larry (after she pretty much wrote him off earlier in the season). On the plane Larry and David Schwimmer once again get into it after Larry suspects “Ross” of snitching to a very SASSY Black flight attendent that he was not in an upright seating position. Larry once again has tipping problems, as he didn’t bring enough “small bills”. Jeff sets Larry up with a “fellatio teacher” as he continues to try and cash in his 10th anniversary gift. He almost bags her but blows his chance when he overloads on hot sauce after her comment that “spicy food makes cum taste better”. He became a nose blowing, sweating, napkin bits on the forehead mess and she leaves during dinner. Schwimmer loses his watch and Larry finds it only to lose it again and that leads to even more tension between the castmates. Somehow they still manage to get the performance off, and we find out a surprise about Mel Brooks. In the end Larry manages to save himself AND the performance.

Everything that is good about Curb Your Enthusiasm was on display in this episode. The 4th season goes out with an A++. And an A for the season (only 2 not so good episodes), this show keeps getting better and better! Can’t wait for season 5.

Warning, Warning this is not a KC post so if you have a problem understanding the greatness of Bill Laimbeer, or never heard/owned a pair of Air Ones before some joker from St. Louis ranted or disagree that the Lions (57,53,52,35) and Tigers (84,68,45,35) are better franchises than the Falcons and Braves then you might want to get your internet fix elsewhere.

Enough with the Detroit jocking/ATL hating lets get to the meat and potatoes. My goal is to unveil some of the mysteries of a keg. For all the sheltered 12 yr olds who read this blog- a keg is a big ass VAT of beer that is called upon for party occasions (or a regular weekend in my life). Any decent liquor/beer store worth its weight will have these ICE COLD metal treasures in the back of the store(near the employees only restroom which I am known to sneak into after drinking too much from my new treasure).

The price of a keg for some mid grade beer(not Milwaukee’s beast and not my best friend Heineken) will cost about $100. That’s only $10 among 10 light drinkers, $20 for 5 cats trying to get fucked up or $50 apiece for 2 chronic alcoholics (this websites creator and myself). If you think about the level of kicking it that might occur over a entire 3 day weekend- 4th fo July, Labor day or and random homecoming-this is a f’ing steal.

Transporting the keg from said store to the spot must be done by someone with a SUV, pickup truck or somone who doesn’t give a shit about her/his car. A full keg wiehts about 200 lbs so unless its the off-season and you’re a linebacker for the Wolverines you will need to be on the buddy system. Once the keg reaches its spot/final resting place it must constantly be showered with ice and compliments!

OK, OK i’m almost finished but there are 3 golden rules/laws for keg behavior.

1st, once you get the keg only the most experienced keg handler/drunkard can tap the keg! We can’t have any wet behing the ears novice messing around and wasting good beer on the floor and anyone in the immediate area while trying to deal with her/his learning curve.

Rule 2, while standing around the keg(a.k.a. babysitting da keg) anytime ones glass get to 2/3 to 1/3 empty a refill must occur preferably by the last person to pour or whoever is closest. If for some reason you left your balls at home and let your cup get empty,don’t worry everyone standing around the keg will help you refill your cup- By throwing their goddam beer at your head and chest.

3rd and final rule, when the keg is gone a.k.a floating the gig is up. No amount of pumping the handle like a 13 year old boy with the swimsuit issue can bring it back to life. You my friend have missed out on one of the best reasons for having opposable thumbs. Get there eariler next time you fashionably late fag.