Well I’m back in Nashville.

On a completely random note, right now I have on an Authentic Rasheed Wallace Blazers Away Jersey (away jerseys are white for the non-knowing) with some nylon jogging pants that match (black with red and white stripes down the leg). I have the overwhelming urge to find Damon Stoudamire whereever he is and smoke one! My cousin Jevone gave me this jersey in Mississippi….I’m going to give him that huge Elway Jersey that Bryan gave me awhile back.

I just have to make it 18 more days!

I need a serious CSI/House type investigator person to get on the following case: *dun dun dunnnnnn* The Case of Killa Cal and his allergies!!!*echo*

Okay so here is the deal. My allergies are activated at the following places: My mom’s house, my grandmother’s house, and Julian and Tata’s House. What do those places have in common? I have no idea other than my eyes get watery, itchy, and red….my nose runs…and my sinuses get congested. This starts to happen after about 6 hours or so (a prolonged stay). And ummm…well….that’s about it. But it makes me miserable. It’s like I want to leave the house cuz that’s what’s making me sick, but I can’t because I feel like shit and I look like I’ve been smoking a pound of weed. So I end up staying home and taking a bunch of benadryl which makes me sleepy and starting an endless cycle.

My cable is still on by some miracle! I think I should have gotten internet access through the cable company.

So yeah, some super detective needs to solve my allergy problems. I’m out for now.

There was once a time when you could see It’s A Wonderful Life about 30 times between Thanksgiving and Christmas….but NBC put a stop to all of that!

They went and bought the rights to it and now only show it once a year! Who do they think they are??? Because of them there are millions of people who don’t know about Zuzu’s petals or George lassoing the moon or even the origin of Ernie and Bert! Why can’t they do like TBS and TNT does with A Christmas Story and show it over and over again? As much as I love A Christmas Story it doesn’t hold a candle to It’s A Wonderful Life.

If you can’t already tell It’s A Wonderful Life is one of my all time favorite movies. It’s a heart warming movie, but I am always left wondering a few things. Such as, whatever became of Potter after the movie. Did he remain in competition with Bailey? Was it discovered that he had the money all along? What about Uncle Billy? Did George fire him? Did George ever get back at that teacher’s husband, Mr. Welsh, for stealing on him at the bar? Maybe I’m the only one who thinks about these things.

At any rate, my kids are going to watch It’s A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story over and over and over again because I own them both on DVD.

Well, I actually made it to Atlanta….thanks to Baby J….and an assist from our senior buddies in my psych rotation….

So I arrived to an empty house Wednesday evening around 8 or so….I called my boy Nile and he and Eric scooped me up and we headed to Red Lobster….I had shrimp and a couple of glasses of Cutty Sark Scotch (the bartender didn’t know what Cutty Sark was at first, it took FOREVER to get it)….we came back and Full Metal Jacket was on….great fucking movie that is….then Scarface came on….they left and I went to sleep….

Woke up early and my cousin Radiance picked me up to meet her parents at her house and head to Mississippi….we stopped at Cracker Barrel and listened to some music and cracked a few jokes and arrived in decent time to the Sip….

I walked into my grandmother’s house and immediately felt both a warmth and sadness….it was like Grandad was there but he wasn’t….I saw my cousins who I hadn’t seen in what seems like years….Jevone and Spencer are both taller than me….Spencer is like 6′4″ now! Devin is taller too, and pudgy….reminds me of myself when I was his age (11)….Jasmine is taller and slim like her brother Spencer and almost 9!…..Breanna was the one who had physically changed the most (well besides Spencer)….she is as tall as Jasmine, but she also has a little pot belly and as my mom and them said a “badunkadunk” or at least as much of that as a 6 year old girl can have….anyway seeing those guys made me feel old….

Nina brought her dog, Buffy, to meet up with her “brother” or whatever (they have the same mother, but come from different litters) Tiger….My Uncle James and Aunt Branda also had their little miniature pinscher named Sampson (which reminded me of Half Baked)….so there were three dogs roaming free harrassing each other and such….

The food was good…let’s see if I can remember the menu….there was ham and turkey….macaroni, dressing, turnip greens, potato salad, two kinds of sweet potatoes….onions and tomato slices for the greens….gravy….rolls….I think that was it….I had the biggest plate…I also had 3 glasses of wine….

I entertained my grandmother with psychoanalysis….then Jevone’s girlfriend came by….we told embarrassing stories about each other because we are dysfunctional like that…if you’ve ever seen one of those clip shows on the Cosby Show where they tell Elvin all sorts of stories about the family that’s what it was like….they even pulled out this old picture of me where I looked like Austin Powers….you can stop laughing now….

We watched football in between my grandmother turning the channel at the WORST times to see Wheel of Fortune….then we watched Ray on bootleg DVD….yep, we’re ghetto!….Ray was as good as I’d heard, I really enjoyed it….I forgot it was Jamie Foxx at times….I have joined the Foxx for Oscar bandwagon….

At some point my allergies decided it was time to go haywire and I somehow managed to fall asleep in my grandmother’s recliner….

Woke up this morning (got my self a gun…..couldn’t resist) and played some Mario Kart with my my cousins then got dressed and got on the road again….and now I’m back here….

All in all it was fun….I took a bunch of pictures….I may decide to put them up at some point….

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves and ate alot (or got super high if you celebrated Blowed Giving)….I’m going to make the most of my time here in Atlanta….

You know, I think I’m really going to like my psych rotation. It allows for a psuedo-intellectual, self-effacing, low self-esteem know it all such as myself to expouse at length about the problems of others and understand my own as well.

Today for instance we talked about Ethics and Child Psychiatry. The Ethics “is what it is” but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Child Psychiatry is the reason I’m making this entry however.

Travel back with me if you will to the place where most of the negative aspect of my adult psyche was formed…..that’s right….Camp Creek Middle School….

So when I was in 6th grade things really started going badly for the Killa for the first time. Don’t get me wrong, I had my adjustment period when my mom and dad got divorced when I was 8, but by and large my school work/behavior was unaffected. But yeah, back to Camp Creek….I really hated that place from like the first day. I guess I was used to being challenged, but there I was just one of many students, and though I may have been smart, I wasn’t smart enough to stand out. I was just a face in the crowd there (even more so than high school oddly).

There was this one teacher in particular I really just didn’t like. For one thing she used to always compare us to her students at Woodland Middle School. She was our Talented and Gifted (TAG) Teacher and thus she would only teach two periods a day and then go to another school and teach them. Well she liked them more and made it very apparent to us. Well she REALLY took a disliking to me. It seemed like every month, my parents had to come in and have a parent teacher conference with her. She also gave me my first D in a class (she tried to give me an F, but my mom found some loophole about letting parents know prior to giving that grade or something).

It was while waiting for her class that I got into a wrestling match (it was rather one sided) with this dude who slammed me on the hard marble-like floor and got my moth fucked up as well as glasses crushed (I don’t like telling that story, so I won’t go into any more detail).

But more than that, this woman actually had the nerve to tell my mother that I was ADHD. I didn’t find out about this until I was in college and my mom brought it up and sort of laughed about it. I may have a bunch of psychological problems, but ADHD AIN’T one of them. But for awhile I really let that bother me, I would wonder, maybe I really am ADHD, maybe that’s the root of all of my troubles, I should have been on Ritalin, etc.. At any rate, today we learned about what it takes to clinically diagnose a child as such and I can clearly say beyond a shadow of a doubt, I wasn’t ADHD. Maybe I was Oppositional Defiant or slightly depressed….maybe even Bi-Polar, but not ADHD. So she can once and for all kiss my ass and suck my left nut!

Yeah…so now that that’s out (and it feels good to get it out by the way!), I’d like to be completely random…so here goes:

- Thanks Baby J for the soup!

- Thanks H to the Izzo for the Rotel!!!!! It was the bomb yo!

- The next time I’m called OG Triple OG it’s gonna be a problem!!!

- I’ve retired from Madden

- I’m going home after all, although I might not make it to Mississippi….

- I’m going to stuff myself with turkey and dressing, and I might possibly explode!

- I’m officially a gutless coward….

- the psuedo-motivational technique above didn’t work, cuz I’m still not gonna do it…nor am I going to reveal what “it” is….

- I like using the prefix psuedo even if it’s cliched…

- I had a hard time flipping between the Sopranos and Monday Night Football last night!…and they are showing reruns….of Season 4!…and it was a good game!!!!

- Meadow Soprano gets on my goddamn nerves, why hasn’t she been killed yet?

- Why do I hate going home nowadays?

- What am I going to eat tonight?

Today was the first day of my psychiatry rotation. All we did today was orientation and what not. I got my preceptorship assignment today and I’m with Baby J, Romni, and Mike which is very good. I’ll tell you what’s not good though….the fact that I have my very first clerkship day on Wednesday. Why is this not good you ask? Because my mother and sisters are tying to leave for Mississippi that morning. So I will more than likely have to spend Thanksgiving up here which sucks badly. Is that dinner offer still on the table Tiff?

Yesterday was probably my laziest day ever. I watched football, football, and more football, with an episode of The Wire thrown in for good measure. They actually showed the Falcons game here in Nashville (I think it was mainly because it was Eli Manning’s debut).

Class starts tomorrow at 10AM which is a GREAT thing. Maybe I should be a psychiatrist. The more I watch of the Sopranos, the more I find interest in it. They work good hours for the most part.

OH….yeah, I think I don’t hate Vivica Fox as much as I used to. Or at least when she makes movies with Jamie Foxx she’s more tolerable. I watched Booty Call yesterday and it was really hilarious and Vivica didn’t get on my nerves so much. You know what this means? It means Queen Latifah is now OFFICIALLY my most hated actress…..congrats to her!

And I’m out til next time.

Well, my exam went okay. It was the hardest test I’ve ever had in my life, but I did my best, and I think my best was good enough to at least pass. We’ll see. Thanks for all the support once again ya’ll. I couldn’t have done it without a little help from my friends.

So yeah, I went to a party last night….actually…let me preface it by saying I had been drinking all day before that….so anyway, by the time the party rolled around my stomach was kinda fucked up….I wasn’t drunk, but I felt like I was gonna earl at any point, if that makes any sense.

So yeah I was up in the joint, nursing a drink….it was packed in there….I was enjoying myself, holding up the wall, plotting on if I was gonna make a move or not (of course I didn’t)….and it happens again. Someone pulls me out to the dance floor to make me dance. Nothing has changed since the last time I wrote about this. I still can’t dance. I don’t like dancing, that’s why I be on the wall with a drink. Needless to say, it sucked that I had to leave her hanging on the dancefloor and she probably thinks less of me now *shrug*, oh well.

I also saw this other girl I know and I was talking to her for awhile, and I’m sure I came off to her as pretty bored and uninterested, and I’m sure she was wondering why, especially when I used to call her pretty regularly and stuff. I guess it was pretty shady of me, but she played me to the curb one day just out of the blue and I haven’t really forgotten about it. I saw her online one day and she was like, “who are you?” and I told her and she was like, “Who?….I don’t know you”. So….yeah I can’t really fake the funk around her, and that’s what that was all about. Am I a terrible guy? Possibly. Do I care? A little, but not much.

Well what else is going on? I start my psychiatry rotation on Monday. That should be fun………..ummm…yeah. I’m going to watch the fight tonight I think. Who knows really though. I’d like to go to the movies or something like that, but they don’t let niggas into the movies for free (at least the first one). Sucks being broke.

Holla tomorrow!

..will bring, a better you and better me….Okay not really…..

But tomorrow is the big day for the Killa….I will be going to Knoxville at some point later today and taking my United States Medical Licensing Exam Step 1 after a good night’s rest.

Am I nervous? A little to be honest. Am I going to knock it out? You bet.

So I want to thank everyone (I’m not going to name you all cuz it’s too many….ya’ll know who you are) who has been so supportive of me. Through my ups and downs and when I was almost out.

Thanks to Eman and Janelle for having me in their home this week. I really did study Janelle! Honest! I did about 1000 questions. I read up on my weak points. I am more prepared now! Plus I got to see the girls in their growing process up close and personal. They are so adorable. Babies are amazing.

Thanks to James for getting me to the exam site and giving me a place to lay my head overnight in Knoxville!

So yeah….the next time I write I will have taken my exam….for now it’s questions upon questions…..wish me luck!

Yep, that’s right, I’m renouncing my blackness. I’m trading in my ghetto pass. Why you ask? Because I watched the SourceVibe Awards tonight and I just can’t be associated with Black America anymore.

Man, I’m so serious about this. Imagine if your local community center held an awards ceremony and niggas got to fighting at it and whatever. That’s about how this psuedocelebrity event went down.

With awards given out such as “Club Banger of the Year”, “Coolest Collabo”, “Sexiest Video Vixen”, and of course “Best Hook”, this ceremony of the coontastic left me speechless at times. Yes, they let the winner of Sexiest Video Vixen (Ki-Toy who was EASILY the highlight of the show) give a speech and everything. She tried to drag Melissa Ford on stage with her.

Tyra’s hair looked like she flew in on a helicopter. Young Buck thanked Jesus for his award shortly before shanking a nigga in the name of Dre (look it up on CNN.com…it really happened). Niggas acted like niggas the entire night. Quincy Jones even gave props. *sigh*

So yeah man. I’m through being Black. I’m filing to enter the racial draft. If I get picked by the White folks I’mma pull an Eli Manning though. I hope the Dominicans or Puerto Ricans get me. I can learn Spanish.

Bye bye niggas!! They shoulda never gave you niggas money!!

I had written this little entry about a Brian McKnight CD that I stole from my sister that I had bought her for her birthday and stuff. I had also written some uncharacteristically optimistic stuff. I even thanked Janelle and Eman profusely for putting up with me for almost a week. And I lost all of it, all because I changed CD’s.

Maybe what I wrote was too much of a departure from the Killa Cal you 3 readers have grown used to. I really believe that things happen for a reason.

I should really be asleep by now. Today was a long day of studying. Tomorrow will be even longer. I’m ready for the test, but I could be even MORE ready, nah mean?

Oh, if you see some bullshit in my comments just ignore it, I will from now on myself. Some idiot is barking up the wrong tree for attention is this sentence is the last little bit that he’ll get.

Thanks to all of you who suggested names. I think I’m going to go with Gator Purify over Tyrone Biggums (which was what I was leaning toward before I opened it to ya’ll). Thanks Antonio G! Gator is my all-time favorite crackhead anyway….”I hate to resort to knocking old ladies upside their heads for their purses…but I’ll do it! You KNOW I’ll do it! Cuz I’m a cr-cr-cr-cr-crackhead *does a dance* I like getting high cuz I’m a c-c-c-c-crackhead…wooo!” I didn’t do it justice, but goddamn that’s a great movie moment.

Anyway time to turn it in!

Let me shock those of you who know I’m an Atlanta native and know a little bit about Atlanta. I’m not a Coca Cola drinker. That’s right. I’m from the birthplace of Coke, the heart and soul of Coca Cola, home of the World of Coca Cola. Atlanta is so much a Coke city that when people want a soft drink of any kind they ask for a Coke or ask “What kind of Coke do you have?”

At any rate, I’ve never been a big time Coke guy for whatever reason. Everyone else in my family is, especially my mother. I like Cherry Coke and Sprite okay, but if given my druthers I’ll take a Pepsi.

At any rate I bring up Coke for a reason. They recently released a new version of Coke with less carbs or something crazy like that. On the commercials for said new variety they featured a song I’d heard, but never really paid attention to before, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones.

Man if a song ever told the truth that’s the one right there. I’ve come to find lately that it rings especially true as it pertains to my life. I rarely if ever get exactly what I want nowadays, but I always seem to get just what I need.

Time and again I find messages in music. That’s why I love it so much. Anyway back to studying or something like that.