First of all, I COMMAND, DEMAND, REPREMAND any and ALL who read this to go to Che’s part of this site and leave her a comment saying Happy Birthday!!! I mean it. I’ll wait for you to get back….

….

…..

I’m SERIOUS!!

Okay you back? Good.

My baby sister is 21 years old ya’ll! I remember when Nina turned 21 I was like, “Well damn I’m old! But Che is still a teenager!” *sigh* Alas, my baby sister is now that age that we’ve set aside for legalizing drinking!

I called her at the stroke of midnight (Nashville time) to send her my wishes and such (since I can’t be there….by the way sorry Nile, can’t make it….if you read this before i call you). I told her I was proud of her, but I was sad. I guess my reasons for being sad are selfish. Selfishness is one of the human qualities I possess. Like this segue about me in an entry about Che for example!

Anyway, I digress.

Che keeps growing into such a beautiful and well rounded young woman (she’s not a girl anymore….and only a “baby” in name). When I told her I was going to do an entry on my favorite Che memory (which is gonna have to be memories, cuz I can’t narrow it down), she was like, “Please don’t mention ’stomp party over’” I guess I just mentioned it there, but I won’t explain it! No actually I will, because honestly it IS one of my favorite Che memories.

Che and Nina were known for coming up with SILLY things for us to do while we went out with my Dad. They liked going to places like the Dekalb Farmer’s Market and various other rinky dink spots. Which was cool, I just liked to hang. But one time they took it too far! These suckas suggested that for one of my BIRTHDAY’S we take a trip to the Dekalb Farmer’s Market!!!! Now for those that don’t know, the Farmer’s Market is this BIG ass warehouse (predating Sam’s) that has food from ALL sorts of cultures and live seafood and what not. It’s an interesting place to shop or whatever. But I think I was like 13. A nigga wanted to go to SIX FLAGS!!! And those lil suckas were like, “Nah, nah….I got a better idea let’s go to the Farmer’s Market!!” And you KNOW my dad was down for it!

*sigh*

Anyway, I was like, “HECK NO!!” (I didn’t and still try not to cuss in front of my parentals). Then Che was like, “Well…I had a dream that we had this party for you!” I was like, “Oh really???….then what happened?” I was genuinely interested, Che is usually so brilliant and insightful! Man….she was like, “Well then I STOMPED and said ‘party over’ and that was it.” For some reason this opened the floodgates of laughter from Nina and Dad. And well….my family has a memory like mine, so we hold on to these little jokes like this and break them out every now and again.

Most of ya’ll are probably like, “what the hell was the point of all that?” Well NUKKA it wasn’t FOR you, it’s for ME!! (Like Col. Taylor’s story he told Zelmer Collier before he went off to fight in Kuwait….I bet no one remembers that!).

Anyway, more Che stories. Let’s see. Without further embarassment I guess I’ll tell you my proudest Che moment. It’s the only time I’ve entered a church in the past 3 years. When Che gave her sermon at church I really realized that she was a woman. At that very point in time you could have told me that she would become President of the United States and I would reply, “How soon?”

Che’s always been amazing. Like you could sit and watch her think or play. I mess with her alot while she’s contemplative like that. I call her Forrest Grump. In reality I wish I knew what she was thinking. I wonder how her mind works. How is she able to do what she does with numbers? How is she able to keep her composure? How does she cope with the pressure?

Che is one of my heroes. She may never believe it. Nina doesn’t believe me either, but they both are! I’m a lucky brother.

Happy Birthday Che!

- I will be going out of town tomorrow afternoon. The Killa will be making a guest appearance in Houston, TX for the weekend. I’m not going to go into details, but I’ll be back on Sunday.

- I finally got a chance to chat with a person I’ve long admired and I have to say that it was an even more enjoyable experience than I ever imagined it would be. Homegirl is on point. We had a great conversation and like I told her midway through, it seemed like we were old friends who had been talking forever as oppposed to our first real conversation. I hope we can do it again!

- I have to give a shout out to my girl Essy from the 730 forums for putting together a REALLY DOPE flyer for our party on May 14th. It’s amazing! Essy does really good work, besides being on top of the entertainment game! I’ve told her before that she should be an A&R or something on top of her design work! Thank you so much Essy!

- Speaking of said party. Be on the lookout for flyers and such coming soon. May 14th from 10PM to 2AM at the Onyx Room. Free admission, free drinks, free shots at 11PM and Midnight! It’s to celebrate Spring birthdays! There will be no excuses, come out and kick it!!!

- On Soulcity, I’ve posted one of the age old debates among R&B listeners (and I posed the question to a few of you on my buddylist as well). On Guy’s classic, self titled debut album, at approximately 46 seconds into the song “Piece Of My Love”, Aaron Hall mumbles something as an adlib. People on SoulCity seem to have reached a consensus, but that’s not the case among other people, as to what he says. For those who are lost, the words in question are “dumb bitch”. Now I know a bit about Aaron Hall’s alleged past. I know he is believed to have been the abusive ex that Gloria Velez (a famed “video vixen”) has referred to in the past. In addition when you listen to the rest of the song, calling the woman a “dumb bitch” wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. It’s not exactly the most endearing love song out there. If you haven’t already weighed in, but have heard the song, let me know what you think.

- Thanks to the homie Eman for the trip to Publix! Man I’ve been grubbing so hard on sammiches! And I’m about to get my Spaghetti game back on! I am about to be the Black Emeril Lagasse up in this camp!! Eating/cooking danged quesadillas and everything!

- Carmen is gonna be the future governor of Missouri whether she knows it or not!

- Che’s birthday is a week away! She’s gonna be 21. What a world, what a world!?!?! I feel SO old knowing this.

I think on that note I’m going to go ponder my life or something. Later ya’ll!

Man ya’ll there is an injustice going on. One of the greatest shows in the history of television (besides A Different World) is STILL not on DVD. Yes I’m talking about Martin. The best show ever on the Fox network to this day.

You all have Leon aka Hustleman to thank for this. And I’mma get in trouble, but I want to dedicate it to the one person on Earth who knows more about Martin than me. The person I KNOW can instantly recall everything from the name of Shenehneh’s Beauty Shop to her main competitor. Please stop being mad at me!!! Let this be our peace offering! After all what was Martin without Pam?? He could get along without Gina, but the show woulda been nothing without Pam and Martin’s sparring! You know who you are! This is dedicated to you!

Anyway….this is the Martin Appreciation Entry!!! I will be pointing out my five favorite Martin moments and my twenty (I had to up it from 10) favorite Martin episodes….

First the 5 Funniest Moments (in chronological order)

5) From Episode 4: I knew this was going to be a great show when they showed a clip from a movie Martin and crew were watching. That movie….Soul Jungle starring King Beef of course!

King Beef: Ladies….I’d love to rock, each and every one of your wooooooorlds! But first….I must dance!!!
Background Dancers: Go Beefy, Go King Beef!!!

HEE LARRY US!!
4) From Episode 17: When Martin’s old teacher and first crush Miss Trinidad makes a move on Martin and Gina discovers it and tries to fight her. It’s PRICELESS!!! Who knew Gina’s bougie ass could get buck like that? We did after that!

3) From Episode 30: Gina is out of town with her coworkers including White Bob. Martin calls to check on her and well…

Martin: Where is Gina?
Bob: Gina??…she’s ripping the pants off of some stripper! She’s out of control, I’m out of control! The whole damn parties out of control!!!!!

2) From Episode 42: The first time we meet Miss Geri, one of the funniest non-Martin played recurring characters (only surpassed by Hustleman in my opinion). She’s one tough old lady man!! I don’t mess with old ladies at the bus station to this day because of her!

1) From Episode 105: There are alot of great Hustleman moments. But him playing Pick Up The Pieces on a Kazoo is my favorite single one.

And my 20 Favorite Overall Episodes (which was VERY difficult to compile I might add, even after I upped the number….once again in chronological order)

20) Episode 3: This is the episode where they go to the Savoy Club. It marks the first appearance of Jerome who spits the CLASSIC line, “If you wanna ride in the benzo you gotta get rid of your friendzo!!!”.

19) Episode 5: When the toilet goes out, Martin has to hire a plumber. The plumber appears to die, comedy ensues. It’s a CLASSIC still!

18) Episode 9: This is the episode where Tommy and Cole move in with Martin. Tommy shaves headchips in Martin’s sink. Cole cuts a toenail that hits Gina in the head.

17) Episode 11: (Lots of great episodes in the first season man!!!) In this episode Martin gets robbed. The crew takes a self defense class from Dragon Fly Jones who gets his ass beat by his faithful assistant KENJIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

16) Episodes 18, 19, and 20: The Martin and Gina break up episodes! Martin dates Lark Voorhees, Gina dates Rev. Leon Lonnie Love (in his first appearance!!!), Billie Dee Williams helps Martin get his woman back! You gotta love it man!!

15) Episode 23: Pam is fed up with the men she’s meeting and finally gives a playa a chance. The playa…..FROM THE HIMALAYAS!!!! Jerome is in the HOUSE!

14) Episode 24: Tommy has some problems with his new girl’s ex. He’s a gangsta named Ice Trey and he’s no small problem despite being a midget! Bushwick Bill gueststars, but the little guy who says, “I don’t know, why don’t you go ask yo MAMA” is the real star!

13) Episode 26: The gang wins a car and most of Martin’s recurring characters do their best to mess it up. My favorite is Otis slamming the bodybuilder into the car after saying, “Getn ret ta take ya down boy! Getn ret ta take ya down!”

12) Episode 29: Eight Words: Ricky Fontaine. Pretty Ricky what they call em! Gina’s good looks go WAY south on the worst day possible as Martin tries to win Man of the Decade. Plus we find out what happened to Tommy’s afro.

11) Episode 31: Martin throws a fight party, but the REAL fights are in the hallway (Pam and Shenehneh of course) and in Martin’s bedroom (Cole and Tommy). This is also the first appearance of Bruh Man *holds up 4 fingers* from the fifth floor.

10) Episode 34: Gina has to work at Shenehneh’s beauty shop to get some Piston’s tickets after throwing away Martin’s. I still die to this day when they sand down Myra’s corns!

9) Episode 36: Gina kills Martin’s mama’s bird. Hell I would have to if it called me an Applehead Heffer. Of course Gina didn’t MEAN to, but try explaining that to Mama Payne.

Episodes 38 and 39: Martin goes to Hollywood to star on the Varnell Hill show (Tommy Davidson). Jodeci appears in the height of their fame (before Mr. Dalvin became a crackhead). But the best part to me is when Martin gets that ass beat by Michael Jackson! Look Tito!!!!!! *whap*

7) Episode 41: Martin and Gina try not to have sex, with HILARIOUS results. And DAMN, Tisha Campbell (who ordinarily didn’t do much for me) was KILLING that blue dress, good grief!

6) Episode 44: When Bruh Man “borrows” Martin’s discman without his knowledge, he’s forced to go Nino Brown with his friends. Complete with a stuffed rottweiller.

5) Episode 48: Martin gets that ass beat by Tommy “Hitman” Hearns. The “big swollen head” Martin dancing was both scary and funny.

4) Episode 64: The episode that is DEVOTED to finally finding out what Tommy’s job is? It appears he’s a stripper!!! Is he? We find out the answer to ONE of these questions.

3) Episode 70: In a dispute over a rent increase Martin’s landlord turns off the heat on the coldest day of the year. Hustleman’s free-range chickens on a stick are the highlight of this episode!

2) Episode 78: Chilligan’s Island. The rat-possum-puppy-evil thing attacks! Many people’s absolute favorite episode!

1) Episode 93: In my opinion, the last TRULY great episode (more on that later in the entry…if you are still reading!!). Gina’s head gets’s stuck in a brasshead board and she is forced to give a presentation with her boss Mr. Whitaker with a scarf trying to cover it.

Man that was HARD to compile. I had to leave alot of great episodes off, and I’m sure that whoever reads this is going to name a few that deserve mention. Go ahead and do so, I understand.

The last couple of seasons were still good, but honestly I think they couldn’t top themselves after Martin and Gina got married. Between guest stars and the show moving time slots several times the show just wasn’t the same (with exception to the episodes where Martin and Tommy are beefing). Don’t get me wrong, the WORST Martin episode (the one about Pam working for Keep It Real records, a poor attempt at a spin off) is better than most of the pitter on TV now, but the truly GREAT episodes happened in the first few seasons.

Unfortunately Martin is only on select UPN stations and TVone. Nashville’s UPN affiliate doesn’t show it and the cable company doesn’t carry TVone. So until HBO (which produced it) and/or Fox decide to come out with this on DVD I’ll have to rely on my memory and various websites to get my Martin fix.

Let me know which episodes/moments I left off.

That’s what today was man…..a bad fucking day….

I’m probably going to “get in trouble” over this entry, but whatever because this is how I feel, uncensored from my point of view….fuck it….

Things started to go poorly when somehow or another the topic of conversation switched to SOMETHING which is fucking unimportant about one of my friend’s relationships with another one. Basically the person I was talking to was overreacting/blowing something out of proportion (IN MY OPINION, which was solicited might I add)…I got accused of taking someone’s side “because they were my boy…and a car door was slammed”….I took it for what it was worth and moved on….

At any rate that was brought up later, and supposedly squashed….

So the scene shifts to “Family Fun Night” and while it involved families and took place at night, wasn’t fun….basically I learned that I can’t play board games anymore….

Earlier on (everything takes place “earlier on”) I stated that I wouldn’t be on the same team as a certain person, but SOMEHOW, me and this person ended up on the same team playing “Scene It”…in case you don’t know about this game, it’s basically a DVD based game with movie trivia, which sometimes shows movie clips….honestly I could win the fucking game BY MYSELF, me against the world! Or at least with the people I know…it wouldn’t matter WHO I was playing with…..THAT is bragging, I admit as much….however my team, consisting of me, the person I wasn’t supposed to team with, and a female ended up winning GOING away….of course at the close of the game I was accused of bragging, even though the person who accused me of such things wasn’t even supported by at least one of her teammates….that’s neither here nor there….honestly I should have went home then…instead we went and made a chicken run…..

When I got back, things were “supposedly” squashed….we decided to play Trivial Pursuit….man it was the game from hell….between people saying, “Wow I got one” sarcastically when they got a question right and people being upset about stupid shit, it just wasn’t fun, which defeats the purpose of playing fucking games!!!….games are supposed to be stress relief right? RIGHT????….so anyway after the game was over, I made the mistake of saying a particular person was “damned good” at the game….I mean honestly she surprised me with how goddamn good she was at it….but another player took offense and was like, “I guess the rest of us sucked”….I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT!!! Everytime someone gives a compliment to another player, it doesn’t necessarily mean the converse for OTHER players….

Then on top of everything else I had to ride home with one of the poor sports….and while I was upset, it wasn’t really that much of a big deal….I finished a bottle of beer and dropped back a few steps to chuck the bottle in the grass and not hit them….

The person walks further along and then asks me “do you not want to walk with me…I tried walking slow and fast and you don’t seem to want to walk with me”….

How the FUCK am I supposed to respond to that? I just said, “It’s not even that deep an issue….I don’t really care”….I mean honestly, is there ANY right answer to that? I can’t fucking win, just like in board games…I CAN’T win…if I lose, then I have to hear shit….if I win, I have to hear shit….

I’m not good at too many things, my life sucks, if you read this shit enough you KNOW that….LET ME WIN A FUCKING GAME OF SCENE IT WITHOUT INCIDENT DAMNIT!!!

Fuck man….I’m going to bed…

Napoleon Dynamite is a great movie. A great, great, excellent, outstanding, and entertaining movie. I love it! I will watch it over and over. But damnit it’s causing me alot of agony and pain right now.

There is a part of the movie where Napoleon is drawing a supposedly mythical beast with the body of a tiger and the head of a lion with a weird spike on it’s tail. As he’s drawing it a friend of his, Deb comes up and the following exchange occurs:

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What’s a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic.

So now the legions of people who have seen this great movie, now believe that Ligers are made up creatures! Untruth!!

Little known Killa Cal fact….I watch ALOT of nature shows. At one point the National Geographic Channel was my favorite channel, and I usually watch at least one show on Animal Planet every night before I go to bed (usually Animal Xtreme Countdown). I’ve always been facinated by stuff like Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and Wild America, hell I even watch Steve O and Chris Pontius act a fool on Wild Boyz every now and again. One time I had two of my friends over and forced them to watch this special on National Geographic Channel called “Haunt of the Hippos” (which was DAMNED good I might add!!). My point is, I KNOW my animals. I love wild animals!

So anyway, over the past few months, I’ve had to constantly defend the existance of Ligers and their genetic “brethren” Tigons. It started out with just my boy Geoff being a desenter, but over the past two days I’ve had two instances where I’ve been driven to frustration trying to prove their existance.

The first was after babysitting my Godson P.J. on Wednesday evening. I was playing FIFA Soccer 2005 with his pops Julian, Sr, with his wife TaTa and the homie Eman watching. When Eman, the trouble maker he is, says, “You know what! I looked up Ligers and they don’t exist!!” Usually I am the one who pushes Eman’s buttons, so imagine his glee when he did the button pushing! I became irate! I started rattling off facts about the breeding of Ligers (information I’ll provide later). Julian laughed me off like so much mythological rubbish. TaTa went and looked it up and joined my side briefly until I mentioned Tigons. Then she laughed too.

Then the next day, Eman again brought it up around a group of our fellow Meharrians (the impetus for this entry!).

The internet is a gift and a curse. It helps you find obscure details that previously led one to scour through libraries and encyclopedias for days at a time within minutes, but at the same time it leads to skepticism of unparalleled levels because ANYONE can place information on the net without it being verified.

I’ve gone to GREAT lengths to find some credible sources on Ligers and Tigons. I present the following for your approval!

From the Wikipedia, which is sponsored by the Encyclopedia Britannica, the largest comprehensive Internet Encyclopedia. This has basic information about Ligers and Tigons (click on the reddish words, a new window will open). I realize that this won’t be enough for some, so here are more links! An article from the New York Daily News about a Liger named Hercules bred in Miami. This link has information about Ligers AND the rarer Tigons (also called Tions and Tiglons). This link about Tigons comes from an online Biology dictionary. If you only believe British sources, this is from the BBC, an article on animal breeding, check the bottom for a nice picture of a Liger.

As you can see from the links, Ligers are abnormally large creatures, weighing upwards of 900 lbs. They are the largest of all cats, but they are VERY difficult to breed. There haven’t been any verified specimens in the wild, due to the difficulty in breeding, the fact that any males born will be sterile, and there is only one area in the world where Lions and Tigers co-exist in the wild (in an area of India). Ligers are the result of a male lion and a tigress mating (I got this info mixed up when arguing with Julian, Eman, and TaTa). Both the male lion and the tigress lack growth inhibitor in their gametes (sperm or eggs for my non-medical readers) and thus the offspring won’t have that hormone and will be prone to gigantism. Conversely, Tigons are the result of Male Tigers and Lionesses and as such will have a DOUBLE dose of growth inhibitor leading to dwarfism. Tigons have been described as “housecat like” in size.

Despite what Napoleon says, Ligers (nor Tigons) are NOT bred for their skills in magic, unless you count the ability to draw animal lovers from the world over to you zoo/show as a “skill in magic”. They ARE NOT however mythical creatures.

You WILL believe in Ligers! And if this isn’t enough evidence for you, you can bite me!

This may come as a surprise to some of you readers out there. I am a terrible person. I do some pretty terrible things in my everyday life. Things that leave me ashamed of myself for seconds at a time. I keep it moving, but I know I’m pretty degenerate in general. If you disagree I invite you to come by my apartment and try to find a clean room. UNPOSSIBLE!

Anyway, as degenerate as I may be, there is at least ONE person on the planet more degenerate than me. Through the wonders of the internet I’ve uncovered his presence. You see my degeneracy is a pure offshoot of my laziness, and generally doesn’t hurt other people (excepting the people who want to stop by my apartment and have to endure it’s filth). This dude on the other hand laughs in the face of the misery of others and goes out of his way to fuck up other people’s educations!

Now far be it for me to bash the undeserving, but in my opinion it’s FAR past time that this dude have some kind of intervention of some sorts. Said intervention is occuring NOW on OJ’s weblog.

If my degeneracy ever reaches the levels of this man I would hope that one of you would do the same! Put me on blast, help me to straighten up and fly right! I THINK I have enough self respect left in the tank to not let myself slip to those levels, but one never knows.

**BREAKING RON MEXICO NEWS!!!**

In case you missed this on my livejournal!

Real life AP reporter and Killa Cal blogging friend Errin wrote this story for the Associated Press!!! It’s the real deal folks!!!

Vick’s alias ‘Ron Mexico’ not funny to NFL or to the real guy
By ERRIN HAINES
Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA (AP) _ The NFL is trying to stop the spread of Ron Mexico.

Since that name was listed as an alias for Atlanta Falcons
quarterback Michael Vick in a titillating lawsuit filed last month, more
than one person has gone to the NFL’s online store to order Vick’s No. 7
replica jersey with a personalized “MEXICO” on the back.

Now, fans trying to order the customized jersey on the site get this
message: “The personalization entered cannot be accepted.”

A computer glitch? No, the NFL has caught on to the joke and isn’t
laughing.

As of this week, NFLShop.com customers wanting to ridicule Vick had
to look for another way to poke fun at the star athlete, who is accused
in the lawsuit of giving a woman an incurable venereal disease in April
2003.

“We did instruct our NFL Shop to not sell those jerseys,” NFL
spokesman Brian McCarthy said Tuesday.

“The jerseys are intended for fans who want to have their name on a
jersey. Obviously, this was in direct reference to recent events,” he
said. “We decided it’s inappropriate to sell jerseys with that
particular name on it.”

The alias was printed in court documents in a civil lawsuit filed
March 14 that alleges Vick, 24, infected the woman with herpes. Vick has
said he will fight the charges.

Among the parties listed in the lawsuit is “Ron Mexico,” which the
plaintiff’s attorneys claim Vick has used as a pseudonym. Vick’s
attorney, Lawrence Woodward, did not immediately return repeated calls
to his office this week. The Falcons haven’t commented on the case.

NFLShop.com employees and supervisors were notified in an internal
memo Monday that they were no longer allowed to sell Falcons jerseys
with the Mexico name, customer service representatives said when
questioned by a reporter.

The NFL would not provide a copy of the memo. McCarthy said “only a
handful” of orders for the Mexico jerseys had been placed, and none were
sold. Anyone who placed an order for the jersey will receive an e-mail
letting them know the order has been canceled and their money will be
refunded.

On Thursday Vick’s friend and teammate, Keion Carpenter, came to his
defense.

“This is life. This is freedom of speech. You can’t control what
people say or do. As long as you control yourself and conduct yourself
in a well-mannered way, that’s all you can do,” said Carpenter, who is
also one of Vick’s business partners and helped start his youth football
camps.

A few Ron Mexico T-shirts have popped up on eBay, though none of the
NFL’s licensed replica jerseys have been sold or posted for sale on the
Internet auction site.

“If somebody bought a jersey during the time the NFL Shop was
selling them, it’s their item to buy or sell if they got it
legitimately,” eBay spokesman Hani Durzy said. “We would not pull the
listing if it did not violate any other policies.”

News of the made-up moniker has circulated on sports talk shows and
Web sites.

On Saturday, a site was launched dedicated to the name. The site,
www.ronmexico.com, features a Ron Mexico T-shirt with Vick’s image, his
number and “MEXICO”, available for purchase at $16.07, and links to news
articles about the lawsuit.

The owner of the site, a 30-year-old Chicago man who would not give
his name, said Wednesday the site already has been viewed at least
10,000 times and he has sold about 100 of the T-shirts.

“I don’t want the site to represent a judgment on the case or Vick
as a person,” he said in a telephone interview. “It’s making fun of the
alleged porno name. The guy is an amazing player, so the nickname’s
going to stick with him regardless, one way or the other.”

The attention has also thrust an unwilling Ron Mexico (not an alias)
into the spotlight.

“I’ve been getting a ton of calls. People are asking me if I know
him. I don’t, of course,” said Mexico, an auto parts supplier in
Brighton, Mich.

“How do you pull a name like that out of the air? Use Bob Smith or
Jim Johnson; there’s 50 million of them. Out of all the names in the
whole world, I wanna know how he picked this name out,” Mexico wondered.

He said he only knows of two other Ron Mexicos _ and he’s related to
both of them.

I like having culturally literate friends. When things are going on in the world around us, I like knowing that I can discuss said issues with said friends. I don’t like stuffed shirts who are singleminded and so focused on one thing in particular that they lose perspective. In short I like well rounded people, so I do my part in helping to round them out.

Take for instance Ron Mexico. I’m sure quite a few people reading this are like, “Is he going to talk about pornography? I hope not, because damnit I’m leaving.” Ron Mexico is not a porno star. At least, not the Ron Mexico I’m going to talk about.

No, Ron Mexico is allegedly the alias used by one Michael Vick. Lost? Here go read this brief article from The Smoking Gun (a VERY credible and reputable source, I assure you). You back? Okay good.

Now let me say, I KNOW that herpes is an incurable and INCREDIBLY painful virus. I don’t know this from first hand experience (don’t look at me like that), but from my medical knowledge it’s something you don’t want to wish on your worst enemy. That’s REAL! I’m sure it’s a worse feeling than ANY hit Mike Vick has received on the football field.

That said, the commercialization of herpes in the American marketplace is NEVER NOT FUNNY to me. Those Valtrex commercials with people climbing rocks and fishing and playing tennis (and now playing football surely!) CRACK ME THE HELL UP! Just Another Day indeed, another day of a fiery burning crotch! Also, the fact that this man uses the name Ron Mexico to get his medical services is also FUNNY AS HELL to me. I mean did he find himself in a bind at the place, like he had to come up with a name in 30 seconds?

Physicians Assistant: Look man we got alot of patients, just make up a name real quick!! Just use one of your friends first names and a country for the last name!!
Mike Vick: Ummm…Peerless Canada? Nah that ain’t gonna work….T.J. England? No that won’t work either. Alge Africa???….hmmm…that might work….NO I GOT IT!!! Ron Mexico!!! That’s a great name!

Not to mention the woman suing him. I mean it’s DEFINITELY wrong for him to knowingly have (little ole me) Herpes and then have sex with her. But I mean at the same time, some of that responsibility falls on her. Whether it’s taking just a LITTLE bit more time to examine the penis entering her or (if lesions aren’t showing) ASKING. I’m sure she didn’t want to offend her special celebrity guest, but he wasn’t too worried about offending her in the most offensive way possible FOR LIFE, now was he? All of this without mentioning that apparently she’s in SOME HEALTH CARE FIELD! Which means she KNOWS the dangers of reckless sexual activity. Now the whole world (or at least the culturally literate part of it) knows she’s a groupie, star-sexing chickenhead.
**Edited to Add!** By the way if you are like me and thought it would be funny as hell to buy a personalized Falcons Jersey with number 7 and the name Mexico over it, you’re bound to be disappointed. NFL Shop has ALREADY banned the jersey!**End late Edit**

Speaking of groupie, star-sexing chickenheads, let’s talk about Puff’s women for a second.

Okay, for those not up on Black celebrity gossip (I commend you honestly, because all of this is sick and sad honestly), Puffy has children by at least two women who’ve managed to garner a bit of profile in our celeb obsessed culture, Misa Hylton-Brim and Kim Porter. Misa is the mother of Justin (yes, the one Puff named the resturant after). If you watch alot of music videos you may have seen Misa. Her most high profile appearance is in a hot tub with P. Diddy in the Big Poppa video. She’s the small girl with the blond hair.

Anyway, Misa had long ago arranged with the courts to receive $5000 a month from Diddy for Baby Mama Payments (I refuse to call it child support!). In the interim she got married and had other kids, by a dude who doesn’t make as much as Puff, but isn’t hurting either. Meanwhile, Puff being the man about town that he is moved on to a former friend of Misa’s and now arch-rival, model (although I’ve never seen her in anything that wasn’t bootleg) Kim Porter. Kim had Puff’s lesser known son Christian. However she had the good fortune of doing it later. So she recieves somewhere in the neighborhood of $21,000 a month for her Baby Mama Payments (she also fanagled some $400,000 in BACK PAYMENTS!). She also happens to co-habitate with Diddy now.

So of course you KNOW what had to happen next. Misa has sued Puff to receive as much in her Baby Mama Payments as Kim.

Now I don’t have to tell you that I have a SERIOUS problem with all of this. I’ve been engaging in e-battles with women over the past 2 days or so over this issue.

My stance is simple. This isn’t about the kids. This is about a law used to protect women who deal with guys with REGULAR income from those guys being deadbeats and not taking care of their children. America, being the land of double edged swords that it is (or land of opportunity in the case of money hungry Baby Mamas), makes this law apply without ANY kind of cap or statute of limitations. In a perfect world, there would be a $10,000 cap (MORE than enough money per month to give you child the FINEST things in life, if you choose not to marry the person making the money) and this wouldn’t be an issue. If it were just a LITTLE closer to perfect, but not quite perfect, they’d lower the payments on Kim’s end as opposed to raising Misa’s. If it were grounded in reason and logic, Kim would have gotten the EXACT same amount as Misa, if THAT since she lives with the man! If people would behave responsibly, we wouldn’t need the law in the first place!

To me, this isn’t an issue of “well Puff can afford it”, eff that, just because a man has money doesn’t mean you should take him to the cleaners when the opportunity arrives! This is yet another case of our overly litigious culture! Lawyer have to be paid! Let’s sue everyone and their mama! At some point, if I ever finish school, I’m going to have to face an aspect of this nature with my malpractice insurance. It’s unfair, and lazy and sinister, yet brilliant people are going to get paid over stupid issues until there is some serious reform in our legal system.

Somehow in engaging various women (who I might add I hold in rather high esteem most of the time) in discussion on this issue, the topic always shifts to “well he’s showing his other son that he isn’t worth as much as his brother” or something along those lines. BULLSHIT I say! If a child thinks his worth is related to Baby Mama Payments that’s a whole different line of problems! The children AREN’T the issue. I am fairly certain that both Justin AND Christian will never have a financial worry in their life. If you think these kids are living like paupers, I have some pictures of the Darfur region of the Sudan to show you! I even got one to admit that the kids weren’t the issue, supposedly the law is the issue. So that’s a good enough reason to drag a man’s name in the mud, make him look like a deadbeat, and take him to the cleaners financially?

NO, this is about the wounded pride of a Baby Mama. Any attempt to make this anything more substantial is FOLLY and LAUGHABLE. Misa might be over Puff, but she damn sho isn’t over her former friend Kim. It’s a shame to me that children and one celebrity’s bank account are the centerpieces of what amounts to a pissing contest between chickenheads!

Anyway, this has been your lesson in cultural literacy for today. If you already knew this stuff, GOOD for you, now you know my opinion. If you didn’t, you can count on me to keep you abreast of “trivial” things like this.

The title could pertain to this whole website actually. I never really talk about anything of importance here, and since this is a reflection of me…..well anyway….

So I was talking to my friend Saleemah yesterday and she told me how she reads this here joint everyday, which makes me feel bad because I certainly don’t update everyday anymore (I used to though). I honestly just don’t have anything to say. Most of my thoughts on current events get expounded on at length on the various message boards I’m a part of.

I’ve been enjoying hanging with my friends. Thursday was Taco Night at Heather’s and that was great. Friday….ummm..what did I do Friday? I think I just chilled here honestly.

Saturday was a pretty good ass day. Best in a while honestly. I went to a meeting to plan the May 14th party. That went well. We were at this place around the corner called Wings To Go or whatever. The cashier chick gave me a discount on my second pitcher and order of cheese fries, that was great! Then I went and watched Sideways again with the homie Drea who hadn’t seen it yet. Then I went to Level 88 which was cool as always. I had lots of scotch. I happened to see these three chicks at various points during the day who are all dope in different ways (and may have been written about here). I actually spoke to two of them, the other I admired from afar (as always). I guess that makes me something of a stalker. I admire from afar, but rarely if ever act on it.

Sunday I went to Olive Garden with Baby J, which was GREAT. I am loving the fact that they have the Three Meat Ravioli on the menu still. I came back and went to Sprawl Mart (Walmart) with Heather, then came back and watched the Masters/played video games. Geoff beat Resident Evil 4 and unlocked some GREAT games. I love video games that get BETTER after you beat them, and RE4 is one of those types of games.

The homie Julian came over earlier today and we got in 3 games of FIFA 2005 (soccer). I lost the first two using Real Madrid, pretty badly I might add, but I changed to a German team, Bayern Munich and ended up winning going away. I might have a new team! But knowing Julian he’ll make adjustments and beat me next time.

My little sister Che has written her 100th Entry. Che’s stuff is better than mine honestly. She’s more open than I am. Congrats little sis!

I did a review of Sin City (which I’ve seen twice already) for We The Voices. Go check it out. Oh and Che has been writing alot lately. Read her stuff too!

I’m going to watch this second episode of A Different World.

I was watching Next Friday the other night. That’s my new thing you see, I’ll pop in one of my DVD’s at night as I’m lying down to go to bed. Sometimes I’ll fall asleep on it and continue when I wake up the next day. At any rate, for those too hung up on the fact that Chris Tucker isn’t in it to give it a try (you should, because to me Day Day is funnier than Smokey ANY damn way, but I digress), Deebo escapes from jail and Craig’s dad makes him go stay with his Uncle Elroy and Cousin Day Day until he’s back in custody or something like that.

Well I have a situation that’s KINDA similar, but not really. Actually it isn’t really ANYTHING like that except I know this fool who got put in jail who might be out (according to the nigga net) who I don’t want to EVER run into in life again if I can help it.

Flashback with me to 11th grade. Before I start this story allow me to say that I’m not going to use this muthafuckas real name and anyone who comments and knows the details, I’d appreciate you not use his name either…cool? Cool.

Anyway. 11th Grade. At my school when you entered 11th grade you had to take Chemistry if you were on track to graduate. All of the honors/magnet program juniors took this one teacher. I didn’t have it until 5th period, but on the first day of school by 4th period I had already heard about “Commander ____” as this one dude Ira called him.

He was supposed to be this mean guy, kind of weird, lots of rules, and lots of homework. Needless to say I wasn’t very excited. When it came time for his class I learned that the rumors were pretty much true. Dude was off the hook. But as time went on and he started teaching I learned that dude was also pretty damned on point with chemistry.

I had heard that chemistry was supposed to be really hard, but homie had a way of making it not only easy to learn, but (in my opinion) fun. So much so that I eventually became a chem major in college but I’m getting ahead of myself.

As the year went on, buddy made like a 180 with his attitude about certain things. He still gave out a grip of homework and he was still kind of an asshole, but he started to go out of his way to ingratiate himself to the students outside of class situations. For example, he created this club called the “Travel Club” which basically just used to go to different resturants and Braves games and all sorts of shit outside of the classroom. In hindsight I guess we shoulda been able to see it coming.

He also became the coach of the Quiz Bowl team (of which I was the captain). Before this goes too far, I must say that I NEVER was in any one on one situations with this dude outside of the school, NEVER (and I’m lucky in hindsight). Looking back on things I have to wonder about certain situations that occured. Like the time me, Reggie, Maurice, and Anthony got a room together in Millidgeville and our other teammates had to room with him. Anyway let me tell more of the story.

By the end of the year he was the favorite teacher of most of the upperclassmen (including me). He used to bring his computer to school and let people play games on it if they finished their work or something. He was really involved and seemed to care alot. Some of the teachers didn’t really get along with him (and we were at a loss at the time) but that didn’t matter to us students. There were a few students (like my boys Nile and John….who were right all along) that really disliked him. But all in all he was well liked and became the co-sponsor of the senior class with another popular teacher. That summer he even arranged for a trip to Europe for people who could afford it (I couldn’t…plus I spent that summer at Xavier…no regrets at ALL!).

Senior year he taught AP Chemistry as well as a zero period Organic Chemistry class (zero period was an early morning class for magnet students). His popularity increased. He used to bring king cakes for mardi gras and brag about various other trips he’d make on the weekend. He also had a Swedish foreign exchange student (male) living with him that year (one has to wonder how in the FUCK he pulled that off). There was also this other teacher who he used to hang around alot (male as well). By this time most folks thought he was eccentric and maybe even gay, but we didn’t really care because he was cool.

In the middle of the year I was chosen as the Star Student, which was the student with the highest SAT score who was also in the top 10 percent of the class GPA-wise (this other dude William actually scored higher than me, but his grades were below par). As star student you got to choose a teacher you felt influenced you the most or whatever as the star teacher. Of COURSE I chose old boy. It wasn’t even really close. My AP physics teacher was really cool, but I didn’t really know her well. My old Honors Physical Science/Honors Biology teacher (a black male) who I probably would have picked otherwise, left after my 10th grade year. Anyway, it wasn’t a big deal at the time. Hell it was expected.

Anyway nothing much happened after that. I graduated. Dude remained at the school as a popular figure. Then around my second year in college I used to hear of some strange rumors about Mr. ____ being investigated for messing with some students. When I first heard it I think I even laughed. I was like, “Nah man. Why would he go and do something stupid like that?”

Turns out that he got arrested for sexual abuse and some other charge that basically involved him having him at his house against his will. The story that I’ve heard most often is that he used to buy the little dude a bunch of clothes and he also used to molest him at his crib. Needless to say, dude was arrested and it was BY FAR the biggest scandal in the history of my school (funny how you can’t really find anything about it on the net though!!).

Fast forward to now. I was talking to my boy Nile about something I’m working on and the convo shifted to this dude and he was like, “Isn’t he out of prison by now?” It dawned on me that that very well may be possible. It’s been like 6 years or so.

Dude went to school at Vanderbilt here in Nashville and he even took the academic bowl team on a trip up here once (a trip I somehow missed thank goodness!). If I ever run into buddy up here I WILL attempt to shank him, just because. Also when the stories came out, it was revealed that he had left another part of the country because of similar charges. How the FUCK was he allowed to teach at our (or any) school. I mean he was slick and a charmer (as most sex offenders can be), but still that shit is unacceptable in hindsight.

I feel so lucky that I never put myself in a position to be approached or ANYTHING by that dude. I feel bad because I think we should have seen it coming. We probably could have prevented that from happening with the one dude. And Lord KNOWS what went on with his exchange student. He couldn’t speak English very well. I wonder if he ever tried to tell anyone that buddy was a sicko?

Anyway, if I run into this fat, white version of Deebo I’m not running to Rancho Coucamonga. If he happens upon this page, don’t look me up! I will shoot you in the neck homie, Killa Cal don’t play that!