I cannot believe that I’ve been up here for three weeks!! I can’t believe that my time is almost over! I can’t believe that I actually know some medicine!!

It’s funny how things work out. That lil flap between my friend and I ended up being the best thing for both of us it appears. We have both improved by leaps and bounds. I guess it was me after all. Whatever works right?

We had class everyday this weekend, which kind of sucks, but today’s class was great, plus Dr. Francis treated us to Ryan’s afterward, and popcorn shrimp makes just about anything worth it. I went out on the town last night to a couple of clubs downtown. The spot Highdive was where we ended up spending the most time. It was great!

I won some more money doing PP Clues, this time with a guy named Adam on Renal Physiology. Imagine that, me understanding some Renal Physiology well enough to win money?!?! I would have never thought that was possible.

My tutorial sessions have been going well. I’ve been smashing whole sections of Qbank questions and my tutor this morning told me that I am on pace to take the test when I want to which is a VERY good thing!

Oh, and it actually broke above 40 degrees one day this week! Of course that didn’t melt the ice on the lake across from the apartments. Speaking of the frozen lake, why is there a bicycle out on the middle of the lake??? I thought it was hilarious to my friend Allison pointed out that someone may have fallen into the lake and all that’s left is the bike….oops!! Actually it’s still funny!

At any rate, I hate that I have to be leaving soon. This has been such a great experience. My roommates are great, most of the folks in class are great, Dr. Francis is great!

All good things have to come to an end though right? Gotta keep this positive momentum up when I get back to Nashville!

So the stuff from last entry has blown over. As far as I’m concerned it’s a dead issue, and my dead shit doesn’t zombiefy, so that’s that.

I mentioned in my myspace blog that I was sick this weekend and I thought I had knocked it out with the potent nyquil/dayquil geltab combination, but last night as I was drilling I came down with a sore throat and it appears that it’s going to be with me all day today. That sucks!

Still man, I’m like a runaway freight train now. I had a great tutorial session yesterday. I was knocking out questions left and right, in tutor mode AND timed mode. I still need to work on being more confident in my answers and SEEING the right clues/concepts in the questions. It’s all good, I think I’m over the hard part. I knew stuff was clicking when I started to go over in my head the surges in FSH and LH in the female ovulatory cycle in the shower.

This stuff is STUCK with me now, for better or worse! I’m gonna knock this thing out! I got new life baby!

Now if I can just survive the next two weeks in tact. I’m going to gargle some warm salt water!

This is going to be an emotionally volatile entry….just letting you know now….turn back if you want, before it’s too late.

You know I realize I have my issues. I’m somewhat toxic at times and I’ve been working on it. I’ve learned lessons from past instances, and I’m really making an effort to tackle issues head on instead of letting them linger and fester and shit.

With that said, the people I consider my friends are the people I also think know me the best or at least SHOULD know me the best. So, I have a friend who is here with me doing the same thing I’m doing. I studied with them because (1) they are my friend and the only person I really knew upon coming here and (2) it was suggested…no DEMANDED by Dr. Francis that we all get drill partners.

Now said person said they had issues with studying with other people, but at the same time, part of the whole program was "buying into" what Dr. Francis said, so I kind of forced them into that. I didn’t realize that I was going to be "looking down on" that person or belittling them or making them feel bad.

Really? I mean dude, you PASSED the test that I’m studying for, what kind of ASSHOLE would I be to look down on YOU? I’m here because I have some deficiencies in my knowledge!

But you know I’m even willing to give into that. But we’ve been here going on 3 weeks now! It’s finally coming to light because of some passive aggressive behavior that ALSO involves me being grumpy about going out to eat among other issues?

REALLY? I find out what you think of me THAT way? I don’t need this right now, I’m trying to study to get my mind right for this exam, it’s almost life or death for me.

I’m not going to be a negative influence on someone elses study and livelyhood, but more than that, I’m not going to allow SOMEONE ELSE to effect me negatively. Especially when the whole ordeal is on some passive aggressive BS, that could have been handled weeks ago!

Even more than these issues though, this person is someone I consider to be one of my best friends. For them to think that I’d treat them that way really hurt my feelings. I don’t allow too many people into my inner circle….I’ve said this before. Maybe I’m too swift to rush to judgement, my sister thinks so, but man….I just don’t take kindly to having my feelings hurt, not when I take so many precautions toward protecting them!

These next couple of days are going to be hard, I didn’t expect to have to deal with emotionally traumatic issues maturely! I came here in part to MEND some of my emotional issues as it pertains to testing.

Argh! Man today was such an up and down day, between being sick and then….well other things that happened….and then THIS? Not to mention Meharry is still playing with my money!

Argh!

I was doing so well there for awhile wasn’t I?

I don’t think I’ll EVER be an everyday blogger like I used to be again. Once upon a time I could sit down for 5 minutes, churn out something great and keep it moving until the next day. I always had an idea or opinion to express and interesting stuff used to happen as well. I think I’ve lost whatever it was I had before.

Interesting stuff still happened this week. I locked myself out of my room. I had a great night of one of my favorite foods. I hung out with some new friends. I got a haircut. I ate a great Jamaican meal last night.

So why didn’t I write about any of that? I honestly don’t know man, I really don’t know.

Now as I get ready to do a little drilling with my new drill partner (not that the old ones were bad, it’s more like, the more drilling the better), things are on the horizon. I am bringing back something I did awhile back that was kind of um….fun/interesting. So we’ll see how that works out. Oh and it’s supposed to snow tonight…like REAL snow, not that dusting from last week. So I might actually take a few pictures! Time to drill….

I have some "kinda" news to report.

So up here we have this whole thing at the end of class where Dr. Francis offers 100 bucks to a student or students who can reel off 20 clues in a drill in a row. A drill is where he basically lists a characteristic and you name the word associated with it. So I had been practicing the behavioral clues because I want to go into Psychiatry or what have you.

Today I finally got my shot. So I get up there and start knocking them out. I got up to 10, NO PROBLEM. But then around 13 I lost some steam. I didn’t go into the "bad patient" personality disorders as much as I wanted to. I messed up at 15. I got 20 bucks for the effort though….not bad.

I was telling the homie Eman the other night that I have entered the stage of being up here where girls who initially didn’t catch my eye are starting to "grow on me" for lack of a better term. Or maybe it’s the cold weather. Whatever it is, the Killa is semi-ontheprowl…kinda. I mean I’m no longer in passive "catch what I can" mode which is usually the status quo. I think I’mma end up throwing a few lines out there and seeing what I get back. I mean when it doesn’t get above 25 degrees the body and mind come up with strange things.

Like, I’m glad I am not up here drinking, cuz I had a SOBER urge to try and "skate" on the frozen lake in front of our apartments. I probably would have acted on it after half a bottle of Jack!

Anyway….sleep calls….

So this is another short entry. No real news is good news right? Right!

Anyway, it’s 15 degrees this morning….and my ride’s doors were frozen shut! How fun is that! It’s a frozen tundra today baby!!!!

I was going to hit her with a snow ball, but decided against it….maybe later!!

Tonight was my night to drink! But….I finally saw the Last Dragon…so all of you collectively can get off my back about it…..it was aight!

The end of a long week right? Not quite. We have class tomorrow too!

That’s right, I gotta wake up at 5:30 on a Saturday! It’s all good though because we are being treated to the Chinese Buffet…one of the good ones with Crab Legs. I’ve been instructed by someone who’s been down this path before to refrain from eating before going, so I will.

It’s a cold rain right now, it’s supposed to eventually turn to snow later. I love snow, so naturally I can’t wait. I keep hearing about how it’s "no big deal" on the roads and what not when they have this kind of weather "up north", well we’ll see tomorrow!

Why am I up so late? I took a nap that went a little long. Guess I was tired.

I think I’ll put in some study time since I’m up though!

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Today I had a practical application of that old saying.

I had a tutorial session and we went over some cardiovascular pathology questions. MAN did I stink up the joint. I only got like 50 percent of them. So to answer yesterday’s question, no today wasn’t quite as good. Class WAS shorter today though so I got to talk to a few people via IM and got a few phone calls as well that made my day.

It’s supposed to snow in the next few days here. Up until now it’s been like the mildest winter ever, but then I arrive and the collective of the state has chills! Behold the power of the Killa!

Tomorrow is Friday, the end of the week for most of the rabble, but not for the Killa and his compadres. No, we have class on Saturday! That’s right, wake up at 5:30 AM, and get to the center at 6:30 to beat people to my front row seat class! It’s all good though because once I knock this physio out, I’m going to get on this Path and get back to the OLD Killa who beat the breaks off of Path way back when! Okay so I didn’t do THAT well, but I knew a lil sumthin’ sumthin’.

Time to do the pushups….maybe I can go up in number again…..

The wonders never cease.

One of my worst subjects on any diagnostic exam and my first take of USMLE step 1 was physiology. For whatever reason I just could not get a grasp on the very fundamentals of that subject. Now, I feel like I could teach physiology to anyone anywhere and they could understand it. So why wasn’t it this simple before?

Let me not step on any toes, I have already learned that I never can tell who is reading this. After all someone went back and told my mom like she was supposed to be able to do anything about it, but I digress.

I see now why I had so many holes in my learning. I didn’t understand physiology. I knew some rules that I had memorized. I knew some values that I expected, but I didn’t know why things behaved the way they did. I didn’t KNOW physio! Now I’m starting to get it, and it’s amazing how learning ONE key concept can fill in SO many gaps.

Now I can read an EKG. You’d be surprised how many people that PASS the USMLE can’t do that without some sort of algorithm. I can tell you almost anything about an EKG now. I KNOW heart block. Like I don’t just know that there is a condition that exists called "heart block". No, now I know how and why! It’s a great feeling. I know I can answer any question thrown at me about it!

I wonder if tomorrow will be as good as today was? Was I supposed to be having this feeling all along? If so, why wasn’t I??????