The other day I was feeling pretty nostalgic and I was thinking about the old days of working on the Maroon Tiger at the old alma mater. Man those were some great, great times.

This may be a bit of the old megalomaniacal Cal peaking through, but I find myself occassionally reading my old articles and enjoying them, particularly the more "features" driven ones.

There is one however that is like a horrible blight on my record. It was never meant to see the light of day in the form it was published, but it’s entirely my fault.

It’s the review of Outkast’s "Stankonia". I had requested that I specifically be the one to review it as I was the only Atlanta native on staff at the time and I felt a certain sentimental attachment to it.

So I got my advance copy of the album and sat down at the old apple macintosh on the far wall of the office. Now those familiar with the old layout of the Tiger office remember that that computer ALWAYS had problems, it was old and on it’s last legs. But I felt, hey, I’m going to bang out this review of this album before any of those problems creep up on me.

Well I sat, and I listened to the first couple tracks. Most of them I’d already heard on the radio or just plain wasn’t impressed with. I got all the way to Bombs Over Bahgdad before I was interupted.

As an aside, I guess I should explain how I reviewed albums at the time. I was one of those who liked to do a track for track analysis of an album. I didn’t feel it was fair to leave out a particular highlight or lowlight. It led to wordy pieces, but they were complete.

Anyway, I forget what the interuption was, but I know that I had to save it for the day and come back to it. I felt dread right at that moment that something effed up was going to happen to my article, but hey, I had to do what I had to do right? The saved version was like in the middle of a sentence. I had bucked my usual trend of giving a title to the article until it was done, but inspiration hit me in the cafeteria the day before I started, I heard some random somebody say something to the extent of "What the hell is a Stankonia anyway??"

I thought it was a fair enough question and one I planned to address. So one day turned into about 4 and then I was up against the deadline so I said, "Alright let’s finish this piece!" By that time I had listened to the album both passively and actively quite a few times. The only songs I still didn’t like (and don’t like to this day) were Spaghetti Junction and that song with the dude from Cypress Hill (I don’t even remember the title to show you just how little I cared for it). But I banged out a pretty decent review of the album.

It was a positive review, not quite Aquemini, "Oh my god wow" positive, but I put emphasis on the fact that the last half of the album was incredible. I even changed up some of the early stuff I had worked on to reflect that a few of the earlier songs (Gasoline Dreams in particular) grew on me. I was really proud of it. I saved it (or so I thought) and then bounced.

I get a frantic call the next day from my Editor in Chief Shaun. I wish I could insert a voice file here, with Joe from Dallas doing his voice, but the convo went something like this:

Shaun: Hey guy…where the HELL is that Outkast review you were supposed to do for this issue?
Me: I saved it on the old Mac under the title, "what the hell is a stankonia"
Shaun: Yeah I saw that guy….it wasn’t finished…did you plan on finishing it before we published it??
Me: *long pause*I finished it yesterday! It’s about 800 words, should be a whole page (for layout purposes).
Shaun: Well buddy, it’s not there….what do you want me to do?
Me: Hold on I’m on the way…I’ll find it…

So I run up to the office. I already have a feeling what’s going to happen to it. My copy editor, who was a decent enough guy, but I HATED his "work"…he used to eff my stuff up, was going to get ahold of that shitty predraft that they had access to, and gussy it up and run with it. Sure enough, I couldn’t find the story and that’s what happened.

I didn’t even want my name attached to that craptastic review. If I could go back in time I would probably change THAT before I made any other move like hollaring at some chick or something. Kinda neurotic I know…but I HATE looking back on that article. So if by chance you happen to run upon old Maroon Tiger issues and see a bad review of Outkast’s "Stankonia" with my name on it, now you know the story behind the story. Know that I love that album!

It’s founder’s day weekend at Morehouse College. I wish I was home and able to attend the annual Candle In The Dark festivities.  Quite a few of my friends are making the trek back.

I’ve only attended one Candle in my lifetime, though there is one other notable one to me and my family.

The one I attended was in my senior year 2001. I should mention that in previous years I’d gone to the hotel and just hung around the lobby and such for parties or whatever, but I actually attended that year. It was one of those events where you get to celebrate the best of Morehouse.

Celebs are in attendence as well as prominant alumni. The board of trustees is in town. Occassionally Spike Lee (who is a board member) will pop in and do something special. That year Ray Charles was the headliner, but he wasn’t the only true star. Harry Belefonte and Dick Gregory were honored that year. That was the year that Mr. Charles left his million dollar gift to the school. All in all it was a great event. I had a great time eating, listening to the various introductions and speeches, and just overall having a good time.

I wish I was able to attend the event in 1996 however. I forget the exact reason I was unable to attend, but that was the year that my grandfather the late Hobert Kornegay was honored with a Bennie Achievement Award. This was the same year that Dr. Massey was inaugurated as president. Sam Jackson was also awarded that year.

I remember seeing the pictures from the event and it being one of the things I looked forward to when I decided to attend Morehouse. I remember thinking that one day I’d do something so special as to be awarded a Bennie one day. With each year I realize how special and important Morehouse College has been in my life.

I literally would not be here without it’s existance. Not only because my mom and dad met there, but I can go back to my Grandfathers who met each other then, and even further on my father’s side to HIS grandfather. My roots are deep there. I feel proud of the things I accomplished there, be it my service to other students in various aspects of student government to my writing for the Maroon Tiger during arguably one of its brightest periods to being a member of the first national champion Honda Campus All Star Challenge teams.

I feel like I left my mark at Morehouse, though I’m still (and will always be) growing to reach that proverbial crown that Dr. Howard Thurman spoke of. Morehouse, one of your proud sons wishes you a happy 140th birthday!

Imagine if you will….

You just got a great giant sized sandwich from Jersey Mike’s and you decide to get the old 2 for $3 gatorade and a bag of doritos at Walgreens. You are about to enjoy a great dinner, it’s about 6:30 PM. You walk into Walgreens and it’s mad house. It’s full of balding dudes in their late 30’s and early 40’s who are running around frantic because the shelves are empty. They are grabbing up bags of snickers and the Easter candy. They are grabbing anything that they can. They are sitting in their cars writing sweet nothings into cards they bought.

Are you laughing your ass off???

Well let me tell you, I did! Maybe they’ll do better next year….

The other night out to dinner with Mizzle and Dr. Pedro they brought up this chick I used to have a crush on. I am pretty sure I wrote about her before, I used to call her "the Prototype".

I haven’t seen that chick in months now. I wonder what happened to her. It’s funny because I really don’t know much about her, even after all of this time. I preferred to just admire from afar at that point in time. But now as I’m slowly getting my stuff together it would be interesting to see what she’s all about.

Then again…well….maybe I’ll be able to expand on it more at some point in the future. Now isn’t the time.

Whatever the case, I hope is well with that chick.

I’m so excited about the release of Hannibal Rising! I never thought they’d make the movie in the first place to be honest with you!

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Silence of the Lambs. My paternal grandfather threw a surprise party for my grandmother’s birthday. It was one of the last times that my Grandfather was completely healthy, before his first heart attack and all that jazz. It was one of the last times that the whole family was together for a joyeous occassion. We had had so many up to that point.

Anyway I digress, I remember turning to one of the movie channels and being entranced by the movie they were showing. It was a strange, violent, and yet entertaining and captivating movie. Later on I convinced my mom to rent it for me and we all watched it in Mississippi. My cousin Bryan in particular loved it, especially the parts where Buffalo Bill stated, "It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again". We would recite that line often for the next few months.

Later on as I became a voracious reader I borrowed a book from a family friend called Red Dragon. I had no idea it was the first book in the Hannibal Lecter series, but I was delighted to discover that fact. I read that book over a weekend. I practically absorbed it! At that point I decided to read the book version of Silence of the Lambs as well. Again I devoured the pages of that book (not literally, mind you….I know that certain characters in the books are prone to doing so very literally). I just couldn’t get enough. This was around my junior year of high school. I think around that time they began negotiating to release the sequel in book form first, Hannibal.

Well Hannibal didn’t end up coming out until around the end of my Sophomore year of college. I was anticipating it so much I bought the HARDCOVER version of the book. I was in the middle of a summer program and it was a bit slower than the other stories to me (I couldn’t get into the book version of the Italian segments) so it took me a bit longer to finish, but nonetheless I was looking forward to seeing the movie. In February of 2001 (my senior year of college) the movie was finally released. I was in San Francisco at a conference for College Journalists and Joe from Dallas and I think Kasi and I went to some theater near our hotel to check it out. I really enjoyed it, though I seem to remember that the initial reception to the movie was mixed at best. I liked the changes they made in the ending and the removal of certain characters from the book, but I can see how others may have been less than pleased. At this point I thought it was over.

I had heard about the original movie version of Red Dragon, relased as Manhunter. I remember being told that Brian Cox played Hannibal in that version and at the time I didn’t really know who Brian Cox was, but I was convinced he wasn’t any Anthony Hopkins. Once I started medical school I went ahead and bought the DVD version of Manhunter from CD Warehouse since it was only like 3 bucks. I immediately recognized that most of it was filmed in Atlanta, especially the High Museum of Art. I liked that aspect of it, but my initial reservations were confirmed. The movie focused more on the Will Graham character (admittedly as the book did). It just wasn’t the same.

I soon learned, much to my surprise, that they were going to remake the movie with the original book title and I remember being AMAZED at the cast they put together. By the time the movie was actually released I don’t think I had anticipated a movie release as much as I had anticipated that one, even Star Wars Episode 1!

I remember catching it in one of the many 3 for 1’s at Hundred Oaks (man I miss those days). I really enjoyed the movie too, it didn’t let me down! I loved how they showed Hannibal’s capture by Will Graham, something that was only alluded to in the books and previous movies. Anyway, I thought that it was the end for the franchise and I was satisfied.

When I heard that Thomas Harris was working on the novel Young Hannibal, I was at first filled with dread, I thought it would be overkill. Gradually however, I’ve grown to anticipate it and get another fix of Hannibal. I just can’t get enough.

What is it about the Hannibal Lecter character that is so intriguing to the masses? Is it the fact that he’s a genius gone mad? Is it the fact that he can remain so calm all while having an insatiable bloodlust boiling underneath? Is it the dichotomy of his utter brutality with his old world class and styling? Who knows!

Whatever the case, I cannot WAIT to check out the movie!

Before I talk about the progressive suck that is today, I guess I should talk about the rest of yesterday which was pretty good.

I got home and I had some movies waiting on me from my Netflix account: The Omen (the original), Saw, and Saw II. So I popped in The Omen and watched that while I waited on the homies Dr. Pedro (her new name for me) and the Mizzle to scoop me for dinner. Upon watching again for the first time since seeing the update I have to say that the original holds up well, but isn’t QUITE as good as the update. The little boy was scarier in the new one as was just about everyone else except the Elder Thorn. Gregory Peck was a pretty good actor.

Buca Di Beppo was great as usual. I love that place, I’m going to buy stock in it!

I got home and things started going downhill. Just one thing after another going not quite right for me. Nothing terribly bad, just mildly annoying or aggrevating.

I woke up this morning and I knew that the Sophomores had a test so I wasn’t going to be able to use the computer lab to do my blocks this morning. So I decided to go ahead and watch both Saws. They were okay, nothing special to me. I got a call about a change in my weekend plans, which is fine because they’d already changed anyway. So I get up here and do a block of questions and damned if it wasn’t the almost exact opposite of yesterday. Even my follow-up blocks, which admittedly have been better, haven’t been up to snuff, I guess I shouldn’t move my test date up afterall.

D’ah well, set backs happen, I gotta keep it moving though! Maybe I should start listening to that old Matthew Wilder song every morning!

I got to keep on moving!

Today has been an EXCEEDINGLY good day so far. I was able to finally handle some business I had been trying to handle for awhile as my finances go. I SMASHED a question block. I just got a call about breakfast. AND I’m supposed to go to my favorite restuarant with two of my favorite people a little later on.

I hope I’m not jinxing myself by speaking on it, but man for the past month or so it’s felt good to not really wait on "the other shoe to drop". I don’t have that sense of impending doom! And I didn’t need prozac!!

Sure it took a little longer than I thought it would, but overall things are finally looking up!

Someone even commented that I looked like I had lost some weight, and you know what I think I have! At least I’ve been trying to redistribute it.

The Killa is almost ready man….almost ready!

Ready for what you ask? You’ll see!

Did it bother any other hip hop fans that Common’s "The Questions" was pretty much the same exact song as Tribe Called Quest’s "What?"?

I’m sitting here doing question after question after question from Kaplan’s Q-Bank. It’s doing some good though, I’m learning. I miss drilling already though. I don’t need to get rusty. I know that much.

I’m turning into an old man! I just cannot stay up past 10:30 without putting forth maximal effort.

My old friend/former enemy/former muse, however you want to refer to her, is in town. I’m looking forward to seeing her. I miss her alot, as odd as it may seem. For all of the things I complained about pertaining to her, she was and is pretty cool. It’s funny how things work out in life.

Anyway back to the questions….

You ever have that feeling that you are doing dirt, even though you aren’t? I just had that feeling.

I am back at Meharry and since I don’t and won’t have the net at home for awhile I figured I’d do my internet business up here. So I’m on Facebook or whatever, doing what I do, when I suddenly felt guilty or whatever.

Why is that I wonder? I mean I wasn’t doing anything I wasn’t supposed to be doing….well not really. I guess I was doing some lightweight stalking. I prefer to think of it as research or whatever, but at any rate, I got "caught" in the act.

I’m so concerned about other people being in my business which is really paradoxical considering that I really put all my business out there on the internet in one form or another. Maybe it’s my plotting and planning that I don’t want people getting wind of. I’m so calculated in the moves I make. But I’ve found that my most successful moves are usually just spur of the moment. The more I calculate the worse it comes out it seems.

Perhaps I should just be spontaneous and let come what may. No more planning….maybe? I’m in a weird place right now as life is concerned. I got my confidence back, my swagger, whatever you want to call it, but every now and again the "old Cal" still rears his head, and I get apprehensive. I still have a few twinges of self doubt (not as far as school) that creep in. I guess I still have a little work to do, but man, I feel like I’ve come far.

Eff it, I’mma do my dirt and if it comes out bad, well….it just comes out bad, but I gotta go for the gusto!

What a life changing experience!  I thought about naming everyone who had an impact, but it’s just too many of them. I’ll name a few.

My roommates Ankur and Max! I lucked out to get two cool roommates. They both will do well, I’m sure, I would be glad to run into either of them in the future…as a matter of fact I’m pretty sure I will.

Ari, Jennifer, Rose, and Lori….I spent alot of time with these four in what little spare time I had. We had tons of fun together at B Dubb and eating Jamaican food and going for breakfast.

There is so much I wish I could say, but I just can’t find the words. I think the best moment is when my shy friend stood up to do a drill and got herself 10 bucks, I knew she’d have that moment! She’s on her way to the big time! Some folks I wish I’d run into a little earlier, that’s always the case.

Whatever the case, I had a blast AND I enjoy medicine again!

I think things were a success overall!