I forget about how many funny things happened while I was at Morehouse.  It’s only when I’m relaying stories to folks like the one I just told to OJ when I realize, DAMN I saw some crazy things.

For instance….during my sophomore year, my roommate was one of my best friends, Eulus.  We stayed on the second floor in Fair Street dorm, which was a pretty nice set up for the time.  You have to realize this was before the suites and apartments and such.  For someone on scholarship you were pretty pleased with an assignment there.  Anyway, one of the dudes that lived across the hall was this guy Seanta.  Seanta is related to a comedian who had a sitcom in the 90’s, though I never got a chance to hang with him.  Seanta is a pretty big dude.  At the time he was about 6′6" or so and close to 300 lbs, or maybe I’m embellishing.  Whatever the case he was prolly the biggest dude I knew at the time.

So my room in college was always a well trafficked area.  I always had the latest video games or music and generally I’m a pretty friendly guy.  So one day me, Eulus, the homie Nile, and Seanta are playing Madden.  Now Seanta had a tendency to get out of hand.  He was as loud as he was big.  Occassionally we had to kick him out.  It was nothing personal.  I was just heavily influenced by Martin I guess.  So this was one of those times.  I think his Raiders (he was from Oakland) had just been mollywhopped by one of us and he was acting a fool so we gathered our collective strength and forcibly removed him from the room.

Well when this fool gets into the hallway he starts to act a fool.  I don’t know if you have ever seen the skit on In Living Color where they discover Elvis living in the woods and they shoot him with a tranquilizer gun, but it doesn’t stop him and he runs and charges the car with his massive 400 lbs. frame?  Well that’s what Seanta was doing to our door!  We would take turns looking out of the peep hole as he’d back up and then charge the door again and again.  After awhile, wary of our crazy ass Dorm Director, Master Chief the Military California Raisin, coming up and trying to write us up, we told Seanta he needed to chill out.  So he was like, "What do I need to do to get back in?"

Now I don’t know what we were thinking, but our suggestion was for him to pick a person out at random and eff them up.  I think part of it was we KNEW there was a chance he’d do it.  Well he didn’t waste much time.  A few seconds later this little dude named GG walked by.  GG was about 5′2".  Needless to say, this dude Seanta proceeded to FOLD this lil guy up, like literally.  It was hilarious and at the same time frightening….but mostly hilarious.  We took turns at the peephole watching as GG yelled, "What the f*ck!!  Why is this happening?!?!?"

We let that fool Seanta back in after that, he had to promise not to fold any of US up like that, but man, we laughed for MONTHS after that about it.

You know when I was a kid my favorite books were the Superfudge books.  Not because of Fudge.  No he actually got on my nerves, it was because of his down in the dumps big brother Peter Hatcher.  I bet Peter grew up to be a depressed guy, I know I sure did.

I’m not celebrating my birthday this year.  Things came crashing down yesterday as I realized that people do things they don’t want to do for your sake and you have to be wholly accepting of it.  I’d rather people did things on their own accord.  Don’t come here and then threaten sleep when there isn’t enough activity for you.  If you want to go watch the fight, go watch the fight.

Today is just like any other rotten day.

Not to get too A.J. Soprano on you (you know going out like that ain’t my steeze), but we really are all alone out here in this world.  You can’t depend on anybody but yourself when it comes down to it.

Maybe I’m just like my mother….

I can’t communicate with people like I should.  Pride keeps me from doing so.  So instead I keep it inside and things get worse and worse.  At least now I know where I get it from.

I want to change.  I need to change.  I’m not gonna live like this!  I can’t live like this!

Congrats first of all to all the homies who made it out!  Eman, Mizzle, Maria, and all the rest, I’m proud of you guys.  You all give me hope!

You know what one of my favorite parts of graduation season has been since I was at Morehouse?  The various sisters and cousins and such that show up.  I mean I know I have two sisters and all, but man, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t my highlight each year.

I got there JUST in time to see the Dental Students walk the stage which was PERFECT for me because I really hate all the pomp and circumstance associated with graduation.  That’s why the actual PROCESS of graduation sucks so much.  I hate sitting through all of the various speeches and circle jerking, just call the names and give me my 15 seconds!

I’m so ready for my day though (not Killa Cal Day ‘07…I mean I’m looking forward to that too, but my graduation day is what I’m speaking of).  I’ve done more than my fair share to delay it, I know, but man….I want it so bad now.  Will I ever make it?

Look here….

I’m tired of certain things around here where I am.  This is Killa Season, I’m supposed to be having a good time.  Instead I gotta deal with hater niggas and two faced punks who smile and dap you up and at the same time call you names behind your back.

Dudes around here got the game all messed up.  When a girl you like is seen with another guy who she may or may not be dating the move is NOT to call him a "lame" or a "square".  That doesn’t make her want you more.  You aren’t impressing her with your wit and charm.  You just look like a jealous fag, especially if you are wrong about the situation in the first place.

I’m not here to tell you what I do in my personal life.  It’s frankily none of your business.  But I’ll tell you this much.  Keep my name out of your mouth unless you want to tell ME.  Don’t dap me up when you see me doing your surgery rounds.  Don’t talk shit about my boys when you are trying to get at their girl and she tells you that she doesn’t want to holla at you.  He’s not lame, you are, AND he has the girl you want.

To the other folks who like blowing up spots, chill out homie.  That shit ain’t cool.  Why does everything that goes on at Meharry have to be everyone elses business?  Why can’t people have private lives?

Shit like this is why I keep to myself.  I try to be a good negro.  I mind my own business, mind yours!

Man I can’t believe I’m almost halfway done with this Ob/Gyn rotation.  I take my midterm in a little under 2 hours.  I don’t know how ready I am at this point, but I know there isn’t really anything I can do about it at this point.

One of my classmates who I have come to respect a good deal paid me a huge compliment this morning.  He was like, "I’m really impressed by you.  If I didn’t know this was your first rotation, I’d have no idea."  I guess at least one person thinks I’m cut out for this!  I just try to work hard and do my part *shrug*.

I’m looking forward to partying tonight.  Guess that means you can look out for another "Let the Liquor Tell It" story.  I actually had one for the other day, but I blacked out.  Me thinks I have a drinking problem, but we already knew that right?

I’ve alluded to it before, so if you are a long time reader reading this, bear with me.  I was a TERRIBLE kid.  I mean I was god awful.  I said some things to my mother that a son shouldn’t say, hell that NO one should say.  I’ve embarassed her in public.  I’ve made her cry.

Days like today I think about that and it makes me want to cry for my soul.  What kind of hate was I filled with?  What would make someone be so unappreciative of someone who has done so much for them?  What would make me so selfish?

Sometimes now I find myself blaming certain personality traits on my mother, but I don’t put half as much thought into my good traits that I got from her.

I am trying to do better (like I am in so many other facets of my life).  I think the first step is realize that you are effing up.  And I do.  But first steps don’t mean anything if you don’t take another step, or if the next step you take is backwards.

I know that there is at least one person who reads this and goes back and tells my mom (who really doesn’t want to know) what I say on here, so if you (and I’m speaking to the snitch here) want to tell her ONE last thing I’ve written here, tell her I’m sorry for the way I was when I was a kid.  I was resentful.  Tell her I’m sorry I’m not always as good a son as she is a mother to me.

My eyes are bloodshot.  This has only happened to me once that I can recall.  Senior finals at Morehouse when I was trying to make sure I graduated I stayed up for about 3 days straight.  Oh yeah, there WAS that last night at Xavier in the summer of 1996.  Either way, what I could use more than anything right now is a benadryl.  What I’ve got at home is a stiff shot of Maker’s Mark so I guess that’ll have to do.

You know, I know this is the life I chose, but man, NOT THESE HOURS.  I couldn’t do it, I’m telling you.  They didn’t show that part of the whole Cosby Show experience, with Dr. Huxtable being on call and being slammed with C-Sections and preterm labor!  I mean I know he had a private practice, but he had to have had some nights like the past few surely!

As an aside, if there is a better guitar intro to a song than the intro to Hotel California, I don’t know one!  When I hear it I get goosebumps man!  I love that song.

Okay, anyway, back to the Ob/Gyn blues.  The thing about it is, it’s really fun medicine.  I mean it’s exciting and you can do surgery AND medicine, it’s a good mix.  But the hours are GOD AWFUL.  These babies come when they want to for the most part.  You can induce labor, but it’s still a waiting game.  I have a great deal of respect for Ob/Gyns now, because I KNOW it’s taking a toll on their bodies!  No wonder Claire didn’t want Cliff eating all those hoagies!

….large portions of drunken nights disappear.  I hope I didn’t say or do anything untoward.  I probably did.  Oops I did it again!  I usually don’t have the problem of blacking out, but this past time I definitely did.  I remember barfing after taking a shot or something, but like, I don’t remember much else.  I know I’m missing my Sopranos.  I think I remember what I did with Ferris’s Day Off.

I don’t think I did anything I would regret, all the concerned parties are still talking to me.

See the things you have to worry about when you drink too much!  Kids, don’t become a drinker!  Just trust me on this one!

….and in that minute you leave…

I’m sorry, I’m one of those people who when they use or recognize a line from a song or movie has to finish that line.  It’s a gift and a curse!

So yeah anyway, the Ob/Gyn Gods were kind enough to give me a day of rest before I have what is in effect a 24 hour day.  So you’d think I’d do something like catch up on nighttime sleep since I haven’t really had any all week or something smart like that, but no, all I want to do is get a beer or three up in me!

They weren’t playing when they said I’d be jumping straight into the fire.  Argh!

I could gripe about some stuff, but you know, I’ll just say one thing and leave it at this.  Trifling people get theirs in the end.  All this hard work I’m doing, even if I’m not doing it as well as others will eventually pay off, and at the very least it’s better than tricking off!