Okay let me preface this by saying I KNOW my parents both made many, many sacrifices for me….and still do….but you gotta think about why we are in the position we are in……
My parents both came from relatively well off backgrounds. They didn’t have to want for much growing up. Both of their fathers were dentists. They grew up in the middle of the civil rights era, but they didn’t have to worry about where their meals were going to come from.
Then they got married and had us. And well…..they made a series of questionable decisions in their lives. They aren’t good with money. They’ve struggled financially for their entire adult lives.
Now I’m an adult and I’m a student and I’m struggling and I feel like I’m STUCK in a perpetual cycle of brokeness and I gotta tell you I’m NOT content with it in the least!
Alot of my classmates can call on their parents or other family members to help them out. I’ve been EXTREMELY fortunate to have good friends who have helped me, because I’m really not getting much from my parents. I really don’t like throwing blame around, because hey, the bottom line is that if I were the best student I could be, I’d not have to be dependent on anyone. But the fact of the matter is, I can’t breath right now.
I can’t afford to live….I can’t afford to eat…I can’t afford anything right now. If there WERE a girl I liked and wanted to start to date seriously, I couldn’t. I owe money everywhere. My phone is about to be turned off. I’ll probably be evicted in January. Everything is coming to a head and spiraling out of control and I feel like there is NO way out of this vacuum.
I can’t give up, but at the same time my options are bleak. I can join the armed forces. I can’t really see any other viable option at this point.
I wish I had the options my parents had. I like to think I would have made some wiser decisions. As it stands right now, I’m a child of their consequences. I think that’s what bothers me the most.
I don’t know man…I’m really at a loss right now. I told my sister in a conversation earlier that I’ll find a way out of this mess…..but honestly….I can’t see it……
November 25th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Calvin, I’m sorry to read that you are having hard times. I kinda know how you feel about your parents, at least about my dad. My mom has definitely been there for me financially more than my dad has.
Calvin stay strong. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*
November 28th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Whatever you need man, if I have it to give.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:53 am
You know, they say we spend the rest of our lives trying to overcome our childhood. My mother is also very frivilous with money and it’s what I knew growing up as a child. So I too wasted money like the morning sun, until about a year ago. I realized I had to change if I wanted to break the cycle for myself and my daugther, for me it led to filing bankruptcy at 27, $60,000 worth of debt will do that to you.
Sometimes we have to make tough decisions if we want a change, and it’s a daily struggle mentally everyday not to fall back into that old cycle but the key is to actually LEARN from one’s mistakes and do better the second time around.
You WILL be okay, things WILL get better but only if you embrace the necessary changes you need to better position. Good luck and keep your head up!!