To those who I’ve hurt/offended in the past year,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I haven’t been myself (or have been myself). I’m sorry that I’ve seen you and not spoken to you (even if I did it under my breath because I was shy or whatever the case was). I’m sorry that I went off on you (even if I felt you deserved it for whatever reason). I’m sorry that I didn’t live up to your expectations of me (even if those expectations may not have been reasonable for me).

I’m sorry that I’m moody and have ups and downs and I wish I wasn’t this way. I wish I didn’t get so depressed all of the time. I wish I had as much confidence in myself that other people have in me. I’m working on it, I promise.

I’ve talked to someone about it. I’ve opened up like never before. I’m trying to be a better person.

I’ve lost some friends/acquaintences forever, I can’t hope to ever be cool with them again, I’ll look fondly on whatever good times we had. I’ve made it impossible for some people to ever get to know me, you aren’t really missing much.

I can’t help who I am. I can’t help being paranoid and having a short fuse and being surly and not speaking all the time and being cruel to those who I feel have betrayed me. It’s nothing personal, believe me, I just don’t express myself nearly as well in my “offline” interactions as I do here (and I don’t really do all that good a job here to be honest). I’m a nice guy gone bad. I’m bitter from years of mental abuse at the hands of my peers and I’m suffering from mental burnout, and to those who I’ve made victim of my misplaced aggression and wrath, I’m sorry.

I don’t wanna beef anymore. In most cases it was one-sided anyway. I’m tired.

Sincerely,

Calvin