First things first, after dealing with disappointment and such on ubid.com last night, falling in love with a computer only to be outbid for it. I finally won an auction later this afternoon. I will be getting a new Sony VAIO in the next week or so. Flaco will be taken off of the breathing apparatus shortly after I get the new machine squared away. Tentatively my new computer will be named O-Ren Ishii.

Okay so Bill Simmons a.k.a the Boston Sports Guy is my favorite sportswriter on the face of the Earth. I say this without my usual hyperbole or any sort of exaggeration. I love the way he weaves pop culture into his columns at the drop of a hat. He finds humor/irony in almost the exact same things that I do.

For Super Bowl Week he is writing “blog” style. He is going to update several times a day for the next week. This is the second best news I’ve heard today!

One of his updates was his official “pantheon” of women. Based on the criteria he outlined (check out the column for his rules) here is my “pantheon of Black Women” (a word of note…this doesn’t include video women such as the woman in the Big Boi video or internet models, although it should be noted that many of these women surpass the onces on my list for beauty):

1) Halle Berry - Disregard her spotty relationship record. She might be the most beautiful woman in all of entertainment. She is generally one of the few women that both men and women can agree on as beautiful and sexy.

2) Pam Grier - Since the days of blacksploitation, she’s been holding it down. She came back some 20 years later to play the hell out of Jackie Brown. She even seduced The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

3) Naomi Campbell - With apologies to Tyra Banks, Naomi is the World’s Top Model. She has the looks, the walk, and the attitude to match both. She’s been doing it for years and judging from Jigga’s “Change Clothes” video, she’ll be doing it for years to come.

4) Sade - She does her thing quietly. Even her singing voice is low-key. But Helen Folesade Adu is a BAD woman. She doesn’t come to mind right away in most “beautiful women” discussions. But once she’s mentioned you get alot of, “I know that’s right” and “she’s a winner” type comments.

5) Beyonce - She might be the most controversial on my list, but let’s look at the facts. She has a VERY nice body. She has hips, ass, breasts, a pretty face. She carries herself like a diva. She may be somewhat hypocritical in dissing Lil Kim for what she wears, then appearing semi nude in her own videos, but that is not what this list is about.

6) Stacey Dash - This is an old school pick. For all I know she hasn’t done a movie since Illegal in Blue. But for a brief moment she was doing her thing unparalleled. Go back and watch Clueless or the old Richard Pryor joint, Moving.

7) Tatyana Ali - Good old Ashley Banks! The thing that sets her apart from Chingy’s latest co-star (Keisha Knight Pulliam) is that, as gorgeous as Keisha is now, she went through an awkward phase. That awkward phase takes her out of the pantheon. Tatyana was never in doubt for a second (well I am actually still kind of bitter about the Tevin Campbell and the late Jonathan Brandis things…but she’s still in the pantheon).
The late, great Aaliyah - Let the record state that waaaaaaay back in my freshman year of high school I loved Aaliyah. When Back and Forth was still on Video Vibrations (not Video Soul yet), I was on the team. The homie Nicole T. can vouch for that! She got better as we aged, and I’m convinced she would be a certified sex symbol had she lived.

That’s it for now….Meagan Good is not eligible yet, she only has Biker Boyz and a 50 Cent video in her adult career. Raven Simone isn’t eligible for the pantheon yet either, although she is now legal! No Lisa Raye won’t ever make it, although I will acknowledge that her acting has improved. Tamala Jones and Sanaa Lathan are beautiful women, but not pantheon worthy as of yet.

Anyway, that’s my Pantheon and I’m sticking with it. Questions, comments? Hit me up!