I present to you a LONG overdue list.
The Killa Cal’s 10 most hated Black Celebs
10) Bumper Robinson - I saw him on an episode of The Steve Harvey Show and he along with the happy couple spurred me to make this list. I hate him with a passion. It’s not so much he was a teen heartthrob at the same time that I was an awkward teen, I can deal with that. It’s his voice, especially on A Different World. He had this psuedo Jesse Jackson thing going on. I hate him!
9) Karen Malina White - She and buddy above killed A Different World. Don’t believe me? Watch the last season. Between his Jesse-isms and her goody two shoes act it was sickening. She also has the most cringeworthy moment in “Lean On Me”. When she tells buddy that he’s “not man enough to live up to his responsibilities”. FOCUS beezo, ya’ll are trying to get Mr. Clark out of the clink!!! And her voice is annoying, and she does too much. I really hate her!
Boris Kodjoe - Okay, I don’t have any real reason to hate him other than he’s the “heart throb de jour” and all of the chicks I like dig him so I MUST hate him. It helps my cause that his acting is a step above Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen during the Full House days. I really, really hate him. He’s the new millenium version of Shemar Moore….speaking of which….
7) Shemar Moore - This dude is so overrated it’s ridiculous. He sucks. When he started hosting Soul Train I stopped watching. But yeah, the main reason I hate him is because when I was in high school chicks were on his jock and not sweating the Killa! I really, really, really hate him.
6) Nicole Ari Parker - She and her hubby-to-be made it really easy to root for Sanaa Lathan and Taye Digg’s characters in Brown Sugar. She seems really smarmy and stuck-up. Her characters don’t seem like much of an act. I think she is probably this way in real life. Her looks are overrated. She has all of the roles that Mari Morrow should have. I really, really, really, really hate her.
5) Monique - Argh she makes me sick. She’s annoying. She’s NEVER EVER made me laugh. Her whole skinny women are evil thing sucks. Okay, okay you got good self esteem, so does Kim Whitley, she’s not annoying. Star Jones isn’t annoying. When I saw her in Baby Boy I almost lost it, luckily she wasn’t in it for long. She has what might be the WORST show on the WORST network. Countess Vaugn might be on this list too, but no one cares about her. Monique on the other hand is still a plague on our people. I really, really, really, really, really hate her.
4) Tatyana M. Ali - She dated Jonathan Brandis and didn’t date me. No other reason needed. I really, really, really, really, really, really hate her!
3) The Wayans Family - Goddamnit!! Ya’ll do what Soul Plane did for the Black Race once every 3 years! Let’s go member by member. Damon, you left In Living Color when CLEARLY you were the funniest guy on there, and for what? To make Mo Money?!?!?!? Keenan, your late night show wasn’t even as funny as the time you made fun of Arsenio on ILC. Shawn and Marlon, you two buffoons were at your best on your WB show, then you had to take it to the movies! Kim, you are ugly. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate them!
2) Don King - He killed a man for Pete’s sake! Only in America indeed! This man is a crook. He’s the only man who can make Mike Tyson into a TRULY sympathetic character. His hair is a traveshamockery! He is everything that is wrong with people in general. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate her.
1) Vivica A. Fox - Where do I start?!?!! I should have known from her first guest appearance on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air that she would be the bane of Black Hollywood. The Sports Guy once mentioned an intangible called “what you bring to the table”. He mentioned that there are some sports stars who are so bad they actually take things OFF of table. Vivica is one of those. Two Could Play That Game is just the tip of the iceberg. When I found out she was in Kill Bill I almost wrote Tarantino a letter. Perhaps the thing I hate worst of all is that she’s FINE. All of that beauty wasted on her! I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate her!
If this list were made last year Wayne Brady would be on it, but he redeemed himself with his appearance on the Chappelle Show. The people on this list should follow his example. There is hope for them yet.
June 29th, 2004 at 5:12 pm
The list was sooooo good. I would agree wholeheartedly and share the same sentiments with everyone save Vivica Fox. I’m not a fan but I don’t hate her.
High five on this list though. As much as I love and want to have hot animal sex with Boris I have to agree that his acting is subpar at best. But he’s so damn fine that it’s really easy to overlook. *shudders*
June 29th, 2004 at 5:16 pm
Monique is definitely classic for someone having LOW self-esteem in my opinion. I dun like her ass either. Bitch needs to lose a houses worth in weight.
Nicole is fuckin fine homie.
Vivaca is a cool chick in my opinion. She’s got that round the way girl flava without being too ghetto like Whitney Houston-Brown.
One.
June 29th, 2004 at 5:58 pm
LMFAO!!! I am over here WEAK!!! WOOOOO….. thanks!
Oh and about Monique.. co-MF-sign… she’s starting to annoy me… and she pissed me off in Baby Boy when she said she wore a size 12, 14, or 16 (I can’t remember, I immediately fell into shock)… BITCH if you in a 12, 14 OR 16, somebody needs to watch out b/c some shits about to start flying… like buttons , zippers and fat rolls!
Neither Boris nor Shemar are all that cute to me… too light skinned and too “pretty”…
Did you know (and I’m sure you did) that Karen Malena White and Malcolm Jamal Warner are married? That part you hate in Lean On Me was the funniest part of the movie to me… errybody was on some “ooooooh” shit when she “bust him out” but she didn’t even say anything, lol… hilarious
And “travashamockery” is my new favorite word.
The end.
June 29th, 2004 at 5:59 pm
Oh, and can Damon have a 1/2 point back? My Wife and Kids actually is hilarious…
June 29th, 2004 at 6:53 pm
can my man marlon at least get some love for his part in requiem for a dream? had it not been for that movie i would have written him off a long time ago.
June 29th, 2004 at 11:40 pm
I couldn’t agree more on the inclusion of Shawn and Marlon Wayans. Their humor exceeds sophmoric, especially with their overuse of race, a topic that every black comedian has already exhaustively mined for jokes.
June 29th, 2004 at 11:41 pm
don king killed a man?!?! i have to look that up, but….i totally agree with your list but you have to add the new host of Soul Train, dorian gregory (yeah i had to look up his name) he is 10 times worse than shemar moore. And ajai sanders (Gina) from A Different World was not good at all. the only episode she did a good acting job was when her boyfriend(Leon??) gave her a blackeye and bought her those ugly purple shoes!
June 30th, 2004 at 8:19 am
Your list is so sincerrrrr…especially the part about Vivica. I think she is the link b/w all bad black movies. Somehow, someway, she can be connected to each and everyone.
And I actually liked Soul Plane…no really…i’m serious…
June 30th, 2004 at 3:07 pm
Cal!!! I’m so mad I thought your site was down for lik ethe past 4 months because I put a H at the end of killa. *hugz*
I can’t stand Shemar my-damn-self ( does he ever button a shirt up!?!?) and Boris… they make him look stupid and therefore, I believe him to be stupid. I don’t even know who half those people are so I’m done. Later honey bunny!
June 30th, 2004 at 4:05 pm
this is hilarious but oh so true…
June 30th, 2004 at 4:14 pm
… werid… none of the people on this list bother me. maybe because instead of being bothered with they asses… i usually turn. like eehhh shemar… never liked soultrain lol. ive never enjoied watching other people have that good time that IM not having, fuck that lol.
bad acting doesnt piss me completly off. i can over look bad acting in most cases… which kinda gives 80% of your list a pass lol.
im sorry… everybody can go to hell tho. monique is the muthafuckin guts. lol.
the only person i really dont like on your list is don king. and thats because he be robbin his own people. but other than that… i have no problem with crooks in general lol long as they dont steal from me lol.
maybe im different tho lol.
June 30th, 2004 at 6:24 pm
on ADW (not the spelman class - the show, thank goodness, and by the way, spelman should change the class’ name so as not to interfer or otherwise throw bad vibes on the initials) bumper robinson plaid the freshman right hitting on jada? well anyway, he was a bama on amen (at least, i think that was him) AND especially on living single (again, if that was him). it was either him or yaphet kotto (a little inside joke - i’ll leave you holy moly).
Nominated for a Young Artist award in 1990 for her debut movie role (”Lean on Me”)
i put in karen malina white in google, and that’s what popped up on a link i clicked on for her. at first i thought you were talking about the chick from “the fresh prince” (hillary) and i was like, SHE was in lean on me? but, now i see who you’re talking about. she drove me crazy on the 3 or 4 episodes of MITM (malcolm…) that i saw.
i never thought a second about shemar moore except to think he’s funny. he has the too short thing going on (his grill is throwing up gang signs. in cali he’d have been shot by now. o.j. couldn’t take him through la-la land because gang wars would have started).
monique “insert last name here” is a little annoying, and i always thought she was a little over-the-top too, but last night on the b.e.t. awards, she had me DYING. when she did the b.d. (beyonce dance) i had to have life pumped back into me because i had almost died laughing.
i think shawn and marlon are closet right now, and they’re coming out any minute now. got to be, they’ve made too many feminine roles. just when i thought they couldn’t get any more feminine, they proved me to be a dumbass by taking it one step further and actually BECOMING a woman. next thing, they’ll do a documentary where they have to go around dressed as women and actually uck-fay guys as part of the ho-cumentary.
don king is living the american dream, fuck it. i give him props for that. now, i’d really admire him if he’d have killed a white man and was still doing his do. EVERYONE hates him, but you can’t go through boxing without him. years from now when they do more movies on him, he will be revered like al capone.
and, vivica was atrocious in “2 can play that game”, but i ain’t got no beef with her. if i was mad at her for her acting, i’d be mad at 88.3 percent of hollywood.
fine bitches if you listening, you heard me i’m strong.
July 1st, 2004 at 2:35 pm
very funny…I agree w/ most of it, too.
July 1st, 2004 at 5:32 pm
Wow Tatyana Ali dated Jonathan Brandis? And to think ol boy committed suidicide last year.
Monique is just wack. I don’t know what her beef is with skinny chicks. Everyone gets made fun of in life, so why take it to such extremes? She’s never been funny to me at all.
The only wayans I like is Keenan. Damon is funny on my Wife and Kids though, that show saved his career.
Nicole Parker is scandelous anyway. She purposely divorced her husband just so she could get with Boris.
You notice that when Shemar became host, that Soul Train lost its soul? I haven’t watched Soul Train since Mr. Cornelius stopped hosting the show.
Good list though Calvin! =)
July 3rd, 2004 at 7:57 am
Charmaine and Dorian did ruin the last season of a different. I prefer not to think of that last season at all.
Monique really isn’t funny.
And why is everyone kissing Vivica’s a@s on awards shows? Halle Berry at the Oscars and then Monique on the BET Awards. What great performance of hers did I miss?
I agree with you on Wayne Brady. It was a good look for him doing the Chappelle show.
July 4th, 2004 at 3:22 pm
I love bumper robinson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The reason why you hate him, is the reason why i love him lol, PLUS HE LOOKS DAMN GOOD!
*sigh*