There used to be a time when I would say whatever I felt like saying on this site, without any fear.  The odd thing about it is that it was back then I actually had MORE readers, or at least more people were commenting.  But now, I feel strangely compelled to censor myself.  Maybe it’s because now I’m saying things here I wouldn’t say directly.  I’ve become a more cryptic person, whereas back then I was usually reflecting things I’d already pretty much already said to whoever it concerned.

The way I’m doing things now, I’m leaving too much open to interpretation.  I get the feeling that sometimes people are taking messages meant for or regarding others to heart.

I guess it would help if I’d be more direct, but I’ve come to find that no matter how much I WANT to be, sometimes I can’t.  My nerves and other intangibles come into play.

So what will it come to?  I don’t know….maybe I’ll get an adrenaline rush at the right time and I’ll just spill my guts once and for all for better or for worse.  I just hate rocking the old proverbial boat.  I’m not winning, but I’m not losing you know?

Sometimes this all seems like the passive aggressive, cowardly way of doing things, but at the same time, it’s SO cathartic…..