Im a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
Im a runaway son of the nuclear a-bomb
I am a worlds forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys

Honey gotta help me please
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby detonate for me

Look out honey, cause Im using technology
Aint got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a fire fight

Honey gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby penerate my mind

And Im the worlds forgotten boy
The one whos searchin, searchin to destroy
And honey Im the worlds forgotten boy
The one whos searchin, searchin to destroy

Forgotten boy, forgotten boy
Forgotten boy said hey forgotten boy

*forgive the many facebook references, but hey, that’s where I do most of my writing now….*

Okay….I feel like I’m an authority on emo. I mean look at my history of status updates, I’m the very definition of emo, for an older black dude anyway.

So Kanye’s new album has been described by a few as “emo” and it should be a good fit for the Killa right? Errrr…as Lee Corso would say, “not so fast my friend.” First of all I was very skeptical because of Kanye’s questionable decision to record the whole album T-Pain style with a vocorder. I view it as an attempt at a vanity album and unless your name is Paul McCartney or Stevie Wonder (Eivets Rednow) you don’t have the right to make a vanity album in my opinion. Plus on first listen and second listen and third listen I HATED Love LockDown.

To say I came in biased would be fair. I’m doing this stream of conciousness/track by track….so you get pretty much my unfiltered first opinion. Here we go….

First track - Say You Will: This is terrible…I mean absolutely one of the worst things I’ve ever heard and this is from a guy who still has Amil’s album on his computer. I’ll literally NEVER listen to this song again.

Second track - Welcome To Heartbreak: Okay it’s better than the first track, but then that isn’t saying much right? It’s listenable. Heartbreak is a place that I’m very familiar with so I don’t need an introduction really. Seems like Kanye isn’t really accustomed to it though. Perhaps that’s why it….well sucks….not as much as the abominable first track, but…yeah….not good so far Kanyizzle….

Third track - Heartless: Finally a decent track….*sigh*…I thought I going to have to stop…maybe it’s because I relate to the song a bit….having dealt with the heartless (and not just on Kingdom Hearts). I mean it’s not great AT all, but I guess compared to the first two songs it’s like “Drunk and Hot Girls”. It’s a bitter ass song, but I like it….this is what this album should be…let’s see if he keeps it up…

Fourth Track - Amazing: Man….errr….this sucks so far….I mean it sounds like he put NO effort in it…wait…here come Jeezy to save the day….errr…not quite….I mean there is emo, and then there is this shit…this is downright depressing. I need another beer…wait…no…some jack….

Fifth Track - Love LockDown: I picked a good time to get some Jack man…because I STILL hate this song….Jesus H. Christ…I’m only going to listen through for my iTunes stats, because I’m an obsessive guy like that….I almost feel like I should do like Al Michaels and John Madden do during a bad football game and just talk about something peripheral….I downloaded a bunch of songs from Guitar Hero and Rock Band today just because including The Mars Volta’s L’Via L’Viaquez now that is a song I recommend!

Sixth Track - Paranoid: Okay this seems promising….I might actually….like it….I think he lowered my expectations SO much that I think this song is actually kind of good. Yeah….it is good actually! Like no bullshit! So far this is my favorite. It has a real 80’s feel to it. Kinda Zo and Tigallo-ish. I realize some of you may not be up on Zo and Tigallo, but errr….how can I describe them, they remade some 80’s songs like Steppin Out and Africa, and if that sounds like something you’d like, then you need to download their stuff. Back to this song though, it works, and once again, like I said about the other song I felt positively about, this is what the album should be about! This is what I had in mind when I caught wind of the album!

Seventh Track - Robocop: Okay another song that may be okay. This is going to be one of those “no grey area” songs. People are either going to like it or not like it, period. No one is going to kind of like this song. This song isn’t quite as good as the previous, and something about it sounds like the theme song to an early 90’s NBC drama or a Head of the Class spin-off, but it’s okay. You know based on these adlibs I think I get it. Chicks make you do crazy things. Once again use my facebook status updates as evidence. I think the spoiled little L.A. girl he’s referencing is the one who brought this pox upon us. Thanks anti-Yoko, whoever you are!

Eighth Track - Street Lights: Okay so if you ever wondered what spokenword would sound like over a bad electronica song, here is your answer. Kanye, I feel the need to pull you aside and talk to you personally at this point, and I’ve only had a sip of Jack, so it’s not that talking when I say this. Dude….you gotta stop….this is pretentious bullshit. This is not cool. With the economy the way it is and people losing jobs and what not, you can’t seriously put out shit like this and make people pay for it. Hell you can’t make them download it illegally! Harddrive space costs money too! Kanye you can’t just take a dump on a track and call it the shit. This ain’t wassup! This song sucks for the record.

Ninth Track - Bad News: Okay this is emo. This is okay. It’s danceable. *sigh* I’m a glutton for punishment, because despite the driving riddim type beat, this song is monotonous and well. I’d like to recind what I said earlier about this song being okay. It’s not. It’s bad. Kanye you are well on your way to making the Batman and Robin of albums. Wait, no, what’s a piece of pretentious arthouse shit of a movie? Errr….this album is the opposite of Requim for a Dream. It’s that bad. I am less of a person for listening to it. I only pray that there aren’t many songs left *takes a peak at iTunes*…THANK YOU JESUS FOR SMALL GIFTS!

Tenth Track - See You In My Knightmares: This has promise. I never thought I’d say this, but thank god for Lil Wayne. I’ll tell you what. I really enjoy The Carter III, hell this album makes me appreciate it that much more, because say what you will, it wasn’t very pretentious and Wayne stuck with what worked in the past for him, somewhat intracate word play and clever analogies on top of hot beats. This album has so so beats and I mean it just seems like Kanye just said he could do whatever he wanted. Like I am really hoping Wayne comes back on the track, because this song is like a bad temper tantrum so far. You know how when you are in the movie theater at a bad movie, you check your watch a few times to see how much longer you can take the shit, I’m doing that on iTunes now. By the way this song is SAVED by Wayne. This and Paranoid might be the only tracks I listen to again…ever.

Eleventh Track - Coldest Winter: Okay….so far this one seems like it might be good. I can’t help but think about Sister Soulja with the title and all, but this song is pretty good. Yeah I can listen to this again as well. I mean it’s not gonna be a 5 star song….none of the songs on this album so far will be, but this is coming as close to a 4 star song as any song so far. You know what, the thing I can say about this album that I think will sum it up for any potential buyers is this…I don’t think I could realistically see anyone just bumping it in their car! That’s it in a nutshell.

Twelfth and final (thank god) Track - Pinnochio Story: So this song is a bonus track from a concert in Singapore, performed live and apparently a freestyle. And well….it sucks…I can’t take it any more…I can’t find any more to say!

In conclusion. I want my 52 minutes back. This was one of the worst albums ever, although Amil’s album is safe as the very worst. It is worse than Raekwon’s Immobilarity. It is worse than anything that Master P put out, seriously. Kanye should be ashamed of himself. Don’t buy this album….if you feel tempted to download it…don’t…..trust me….

I had a situation where I could’ve argued my point just now, but I don’t care enough.

Who cares!

Just when I was about to drive myself crazy with this, that, and the third (each one is a real and different mind fuck) I woke up this morning to an instant message from someone I had been thinking about. Someone I missed. She seems to be doing well, and right now I guess it’s just what I needed.

We didn’t necessarily part ways on the best of terms, but I’d been thinking about her alot lately….and well….

Who knows….I feel a little less lonely…

…it occurs to me that I’m doing the most…and yet doing the least. It’s taking a whole lot of restraint….and going against what I feel…and alot of other shit not to say what I want to say and do what I want to do….

One of these days I’mma throw caution to the wind and just follow my impulses for better or for worse….and to paraphrase Hyman Roth to Michael Corleone in Godfather 2….I’ll know whether I have a partner or not….

Because this unstable way of living just has to stop….

In keeping with consistancy, when I saw this dude at homecoming he tried to dolo me! Apparently he has friends who don’t believe he’d harm anyone, but I mean, I speak to the violence first hand! I love Seanta like a Morehouse Brother, but he is crazy and will fold somebody up in a second….in a crowded TGIFridays!

Anyway here is just one of the stories of when he doloed a dude, by his own request mind you! Enjoy!

Just some random thoughts….non-sequitors…whatever you want to call them….11 Things I Think I Think for November….

1. The Beach is overrated….sand is annoying and you can’t heat ocean water…give me a pool…or even better a hot-tub….and a hot chick….and some champagne….
2. The Beatles will always be my favorite band….but sometimes, you NEED to listen to the Rolling Stones….and that’s what I’m doing right now…it started with a yearning need to listen to “I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)” but I knew I’d end up pretty much ending up listening to the whole Forty Licks album and then some….
3. I was asked yesterday if I ever get tired of Rock Band….I gotta say, honestly sometimes I do…but I always go back to it, if that makes sense….like even after I beat Guitar Hero, there was always something to do on the game, and I enjoy playing some songs (like Cherub Rock) over and over and over again….
4. Zack and Miri Make A Porno is a funny, funny movie….even if I didn’t so much like the ending…..check it out, especially you Kevin Smith fans out there…..
5. How about those 6-0 Atlanta Hawks!!?!!?! I got a chance to watch them play a whole game while I was in Atlanta….these boys are for real. They play with passion and they actually play DEFENSE!! I hope they maintain this all season!
6. Speaking of Atlanta sports….the Falcons! They have exceeded my expectations. They can honesly lose the rest of their games and I’ll be proud of what they’ve done….okay I’m lying I want them to make the playoffs! Yes I’m never satisfied (like the Good 2 Go) song….
7. What exactly is creepy? Would I qualify as creepy? Probably….(you aren’t allowed to answer these random questions by the way….you know who you are)….
8. Facebook beat Myspace….I actually could have called that one….Facebook is just so much easier to control…I can limit access and all that crap and I don’t have to worry about spam NEARLY as much as I do on Myspace….plus I don’t have to be friends with Tom anymore….
9. I need to thank Deah for clarifying flask laws and other such free legal advice she gave me….having friends who are prosecutors is wassup!
10. It amazes me how funny Martin still is after all of these years. I can literally pop in ANY DVD and watch ANY episode and crack the hell up. It’s funny how much of my mannerisms and such I absorbed from that show as well. I guess moms was onto something in trying to restrict my TV habits. Maybe I wouldn’t be so quick to throw people out of my apartment and such!
11. It’s really hard to do the things you say you are going to do in the face of what you really want to do….I really appreciate all the advice guys…too bad it’s probably going to go to waste….enjoy the train wreck though…..

For me it started Wednesday afternoon as I boarded a Greyhound bus out of Nashville to Marietta, GA. What more can I say about the Greyhound experience that I haven’t already said. It sucks, but hey, they get me where i need to be.

Deah arrived shortly thereafter and we went back to her crib after getting a few essentials from the trusty 24 hour Walgreens. Unfortunately for me, one of those essentials was NOT an AJC with Obama on the cover. But that’s okay. I got a full nights rest and got ready for our day on the road.

Deah had to work Thursday so I got dressed and occupied myself by watching Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, since H had just gotten it for me on Tuesday! It never gets old. Deah’s co-worker Kate came home with her and some El Pollo Loco! My burrito was great and we hit the road to Forsyth, GA for a DUI training thingy that Deah had to attend since she is a prosecutor. We learned about Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus (I can’t escape medical stuff no matter how hard I try!!!) and got to see how real police officers train to get people on DUI’s. Trust me folks, if you’ve been drinking they are gonna get you. There is no way around it….so errrr…be careful!

We hit the road about 8:30 or so…I caught Walmart slipping as they mislabled a Griffin iTrip and I got it for the low. I also picked up some much needed shades! The trip started out inauspiciously enough. We traveled down to I-10 and Tallahassee and then that’s when the fun started. We got on a few state roads and got lost for a few hours. We hit zero on the gas meter and there were foxes and deer coming out of the woods. I’m telling you, truthfully I didn’t think we’d make it! But make it we did…right around 2:30 AM.

I caught up briefly with Eulus, Trav, and Fza and then went to bed to get ready for the next day.

Friday morning I woke up and took a walk outside. As I was taking pictures I got a call from Fza saying he wanted to hit Waffle House, of course I couldn’t turn that down. Eulus also called me and told me he needed a hand getting things together, so Fza and I went and helped for a second. We got sent on an errand to get a USB cable for the printer and so we combined our food run with that. Shortly after that it was time for rehersal. Rehersal was short and cool, I got to meet the bridesmaids including the one I’d be partnered with Miko. They were all cool.

We rolled out of rehersal and went to the rehersal dinner at this spot Zampieri’s that was on a marina. It was really nice. Me and the fellas bought a few rounds of drinks and had good conversation all night. They had a small program coordinated by Eulus’s family. His dad and uncles had some humorous, but insightful words of wisdom and I think I can say a good time was had by all. I had a delicious prime rib!

We headed back to the hotel and made a run to get supplies for the party. Then Farai and I went to the airport to pick up Malaika. When we made it back from the airport we went to the welcome party. MAN we kicked it hard, like we usually do! Bernard was tending bar and Travis held down the iPod! The party went on and on and we had a great time! We all headed back to our rooms to get ready for the next day. I think around that time I ran into the homie Nile who had just arrived. We made a quick run to the gas station and an unsuccessful food run (we weren’t in the mood for more Waffle House). I hit the sack to get ready for the next day.

That next morning I got a haircut from Bernard. It was like old times. The fellas started to drop through one by one, and Eulus told us the plans for the day. We got dressed and met up in Pinchback’s room around 1:15 to take a series of pictures with the photographer with the theme of us preparing. Then we headed to the beach to take some pictures there before finally arriving at the Kelly Plantation for the wedding itself!

The wedding was great! It was nice and short (LOL)…and then we were able to get the real party started! They introduced the wedding party to “Walk It Out”…of course I refused to really “walk it out”….LOL….but the mood was REALLY set when the Bride and Groom were introduced to “Swagger Like Us”! From that point on, we ate drank, and were merry!

We took TONS of pictures and shared several toasts including a cigar toast. We sang “Dear Old Morehouse”. The best part though was plotting with B and deciding to hi-jack the microphone and sing a song as a group, just the fellas. We decided on My Girl, and Eulus seized the moment to serenade his bride! It was great but the fun had just started! As we were leaving, Bernard joined the band to sing Through The Fire, much to the lead singer’s chagrin! He was SINGING it though!

We all went outside afteward to do a sparkler sendoff when Eulus got a HUGE surprise! Calandra rented him a Harley and his dad rolled up on it! I was shocked and went crazy. You gotta understand. From the age of 7, Eulus would watch Happy Days and talk about getting a motorcycle like the Fonz and his dad and rolling out in the sunset. I could tell he was really happy and genuinely surprised by it all!

We went back to the hotel for the afterparty but maaaaaaan I was exhausted. I made a token appearance and went to bed. I woke up the next day and we had a farewell brunch with unlimited mimosas….LOL….I drank alot! By the time we said our goodbyes I was happier than I was sad, happy for the new married couple, sad that I had to go, but hopeful for the future!

Me and Deah headed back to the A without a hitch. When we got to Atlanta we went to this restuarant, Stats, and watched the 5-0 Hawks win in a surprisingly tough contest against the Thunder (what kind of wack name is that?). I hopped on a bus at 12:45 and got to the crib around 4:30 AM.

All told it was a great weekend. I’m so happy for Eulus and Calandra. Their wedding was PERFECT. They set the tone really well and everyone there had a good time. Me and B talked about it at length and felt like nothing is gonna top this weekend!

For the non-facebookers here are links to the 5!!!! albums of pictures I took…(links open in a new tab)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Last night as CNN called the election for President-Elect Barack Obama (I got goosebumps typing that by the way), I made three phone calls (actually I made more….LOL…but three I’ll tell you about). I was there with H so I didn’t need to call her and I had talked to Eman earlier about the holographic Will.I.Am appearance (how surreal and Star Wars-ish). It was too late to call my dad, but I’m calling him today! Believe it!

I called my mother first. This has been a rough year for us, but particularly her. She lost her mother, my grandmother, this year and I know Grandma would have wanted to see President Obama take the oath of office. My grandmother was an exceedingly proud woman. She would watch every golf tournament Tiger Woods was a part of, no matter how minor. She watched Phil Ivey in the world series of poker. I’m serious man! Like she wasn’t one of those Black Panther t-shirt wearing, militant fro wearers, but you couldn’t tell me she wasn’t full of black pride. So I had to call her daughter, my mother, just to get a bit of how she would probably feel.

I then called my sister Nina. Nina, whether she knows it or not, is my oldest and best friend. She knows me better than anyone. When we were younger she knew exactly how to get ANY reaction out of me that she wanted, and she still does and I’m lucky she’s more mature than me! I had to talk to Nina. I had to hear her voice because I’ve spent more time on this planet with her than anyone else. I told her about talking to mom and we both shared our disbelief that we are alive to see President Barack Obama!

Then I called my boy Eulus. Eulus and his fiancee Calandra are getting married this weekend. I asked him (jokingly) if he knew how historic his wedding was going to be! I’ve known Eulus since 2nd grade and he’s like the brother I never had. I tried to imagine the Happy Days watching Eulus and the young accident prone Cal sitting around considering the possibility of a President Barack Obama. I don’t think we could have imagined it!

I’m the biggest cynic ever, yesterday I wrote on facebook about my frustration with those who chastise and bully people into voting and now I feel like a fool. I’m thankful for those people because they probably got somebody somewhere to believe that what we experienced last night could happen! I saw Anthony Anderson this morning on the Today Show and he said that last night he told his children that they could do ANYTHING they wanted to. No cynicism, no irony! A kid growing up today can be whatever they want!!!! Whatever they want!!!

A black man, Barack Obama is President-Elect of the United States of America. Hope springs eternal!!

So yesterday I almost got arrested. I was drunk and a friend of mine kept making fun of me because the Bulldogs lost. It was very Rick Jamesish in the habitual line stepping, but whatever. I lost my cool. I told them that if they said one more thing I would throw my glass bottle. They did, and I did. I had no idea there was a metro police officer RIGHT next to me. Like literally.

She basically gave me the choice to leave or be arrested. I was drunk, but not that drunk!

Yep, this is my life!